Everything Wrong With Pointing Out Everything Wrong In Popular Movies: Learning to Choose Your Battles.
I watch television and movies because I’m expecting to be entertained, or at least placated, for a couple of hours. I don’t watch movies to pick them apart, piece by piece, pointing out that a plate moves from one scene to the next or that Batman’s utility belt would need to be able to handle x amount of weight in order to blah blah math scientist blah.
Where in the hell is the fun in that? Yet, here we are. Pick a popular movie and Google it with “Everything Wrong With” and see what happens. I’ll wait.
Did you get pages of results? YouTube videos pointing out various mistakes, errors in continuity that don’t actually handicap the story in any way, and lists gloating about the keen eye of the author? If you deign to watch one of the videos or read one of the lists, be ready to enjoy the film that much less the next time you view it. It’s just been ruined. Your reasonable suspension of disbelief and your immersion in the film has just morphed into a wariness concerning the story being presented to you and a loss of trust for the people responsible. Why would the filmmakers do this to you? Why would they leave that glass half full when it was empty only a moment ago? WHY CAN YOU SEE THE REFLECTION OF A CREW MEMBER IN THAT DUDE’S VISOR?? IS HE REALLY EVEN A PSYCHOTIC KILLER AT ALL?
Please, don’t misunderstand what I’m telling you. I’m all for tearing apart cringe-inducing, bowel-evacuating, severely idiotic movies. In fact, I encourage it and I monetarily support it.
I’m also not referring to the picking apart of a movie based on established characters and stories. If you’re doing something with Deadpool and you sew the Merc with a Mouth’s mouth shut? We’re going to have a problem up in the motherf*cker and you’re damn right I’m going to pick your wet turd of a movie apart.
I am also not talking about fair-minded critiques of movies based on content, execution, ability to entertain, appeal, direction, acting, or basically anything else you would find in a review of a movie. Eviscerating Grown Ups 2 is fine. Eviscerating Mean Girls because a character had a manicure that disappeared during a fight scene is stupid.
I am talking about the purposeful dissection of an entertaining, generally free of horrendous flaws, fun, non-threatening movie. The IMDB Goofs section for every movie is full of the type of nitpicking grievances that people continually air for no reason other than feeling superior. It’s the equivalent of walking into a new house, pointing to a minuscule dot of paint on the wood trim, declaring the entire house unfit for human habitation, and then posting forty different YouTube videos, blog diatribes, and comments inflating that paint’s importance in the grand scheme of things. It’s utterly inane.
I am unable to comprehend the mindset of a person that enjoys watching films frame by frame, taking copious notes and screenshots, and then disseminating that insignificant information in order to feel superior. It just seems like a lonely, joyless, time-consuming labor of self-loathing and regret. Why take all of the fun out of an industry whose sole purpose is to entertain? Why generate so much annoyance over a work of fiction when you can lose yourself in it instead?
If a movie can move along at a reasonable pace while keeping me entertained and immersed in the imagined world, why break that spell? I’d rather enjoy the ride.
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