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Could Anyone on "How To Get Away With Murder" Actually Get Away With Murder?

By Genevieve Burgess | Think Pieces | September 26, 2015 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Think Pieces | September 26, 2015 |

For a show called How to Get Away With Murder the ABC series is shockingly skimpy on actual murders. The first season produced a grand total of three murders connected to our main characters, and in a world where police procedurals will frequently have double-digit body counts for single episodes, that’s just not all that much to brag about. But maybe it’s for the best. For all their bragging, what are the chances that any of the characters actually COULD get away with murder? As we head into the second season, lets rank them from least likely to get away with murder to absolutely getting away with murder. (Some spoilers for season one and episode one of season two of How to Get Away With Murder.)


Asher - Asher is basically scared of his own shadow. He’s like one of those fainting goats in terms of how easy he is to intimidate. Asher probably confesses to murders he didn’t actually commit just because he knows it’s what the police want to hear. He is NEVER getting away with murder. Had he been in the house when the rest of the law students killed Sam, they would all be in jail right now and Annalise would be free to recruit a new more competent group of minions.


Michaela - Michaela likes to think she’s hard but she crumbles like an off-brand oreo in milk at the first sign of trouble. The only reason she didn’t immediately flip on her classmates last season was because she thought there was incontrovertible proof tying her to the victim. Otherwise Michaela is all about Michaela and far too sheltered to be properly distrusting of authority.


Connor - Connor’s biggest skills so far are having sex with people who have useful information and bagging a boyfriend who can do a lot of tech stuff which I guess is still basically the same as Skill #1. Unless Connor’s case is being investigated exclusively by horny gay men into vaguely ferrety-looking white boys, Connor will not be able to get away with murder. Last season he was nearly as squirrelly as Michaela and was kept in line by her begging him not to tell anyone because she thought her engagement ring was with the body.


Bonnie - Bonnie reminds me a lot of Lester Nygaard of Fargo: someone who has taken a lot of abuse over their life and has only just begun to assert themselves in dramatic and violent fashion. Like Lester, I assume that Bonnie will swing to the opposite side of the pendulum from her former doormat self and get caught because of her hubris.


Wes - OK, so I think Wes is a secret sociopath only because no one can be THAT bland all the time, can they? Also, he’s still living in an apartment decorated primarily with human claw marks on the walls and you can’t convince me there’s not something just a little psycho killer about that. I need to believe, guys, otherwise I can’t really accept how much time Annalise spends with someone so utterly uninteresting.


Laurel - As last season progressed, Laurel really came into herself as a coldly pragmatic individual and it was fantastic. Sure, she came to law school with big plans of helping the less fortunate and volunteering with legal aid but when push came to shove she was a shark. She stole Michaela’s ring to keep her quiet, which helped keep Connor quiet, so really she might have been the Rookie of the Year of the Murder Squad last season. It would help if she could get a few new facial expressions but whatever, she’s still top of the heap as far as the students go.


Annalise - Annalise would be higher but her choice in interns and other employees leads me to question her judgement occasionally. Sure, she’s a high powered attorney, wildly intelligent, compartmentalizes like an IKEA shelving display, and has a literal body disposal guy on her staff, but look at the clowns she hand picked to be her student assistants. Something is not firing on all cylinders for Annalise.


Frank - Can and has gotten away with murder. Mostly seems to consider it an inconvenience. Has no other discernible skills, but very good at killing people and disposing of bodies which is all you really need in this case.


Mama Ophelia - Can, has, and probably will again. Don’t sleep on Mama Ophelia.

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.

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