There’s likely a point in everyone’s life where you are attracted to someone you really shouldn’t be. Sure, the bad boy or girl have their appeal but there’s also that hot dork who suddenly becomes interesting one summer or when you discover the weird kid who eats smelly sandwiches for lunch has killer green eyes. And if you’re a book nerd like I am, there are those characters on the page - in print or in comics - who suddenly becomes weirdly attractive. Don’t believe me? Then why does fan fic exist?
As someone who read a lot of Archie growing up, I did find Jughead appealing long before Cole Sprouse brought his annoyingly hot looks to Riverdale. Jughead is just so unbothered by everything, he wears that goofy little crown (I know, I know it’s a whoopie cap, whatevs), he’s got a cute dog and he lives to eat. Hello, me too!
Admittedly, turning Jughead’s long-standing aversion of girls into him being asexual was a cool thing for the comics to do and I admire Sprouse for fighting to retain this in the show, even if he was overruled in the end. But sexy Jughead is into sex and no matter how hilarious that “I’m weird” scene is, Jughead could get it. Probably even more so than Archie because that’s the way life goes sometimes, I mean just look at Pacey and Dawson (I AM OLD, OKAY???).
But Jughead is one thing, in fact, I’d argue The CW want us to find the cast attractive. But Albert Einstein? Come ON Nat Geo!
Here’s where it gets tricky. Genius, the new series which dives into the life Albert Einstein starts Geoffrey Rush. Like, my GOD have you seen Quills? Because it is a testament to this man’s immense talent that he can somehow become even more alluring and sensual than PRIME Joaquin Phoenix playing a sexy young priest.
It’s not really a surprise that Geoffrey Rush is sexy. But does he have to make Einstein sexy? Because it feels a bit like discovering your parents have had sex. Obviously they had to in order for you to exist but seriously, do you need to know that? Some things are better left unsaid and seeing Einstein get freaky isn’t really something I need in my life, okay? So stop tempting us with sexy weird men, tv!