The Force Awakens has come and gone, and while we’ve got an anthology story in the works in Rogue One, it’s a long haul before we get to Rian Johnson’s Episode 8. It’s an even longer slog to Colin Trevorrow’s Episode 9, and I’m dreading it.
Why am I dreading it? Because I’m an internet writer with no fucking life, you see. Rian Johnson is a great fit for Star Wars — his resume is packed with a variety of interesting, risky films. His episodes of Breaking Bad are top shelf, Looper was solid, and Brothers Bloom is pretty underrated. Brick is a little more divisive, but the dude took a swing on a very strange idea and you’ve got to respect it. If 8 is Empire, it’s in good hands.
I’m much more interested in the third act of this trilogy, because Star Wars has a tendency to screw them up. Jedi is fun but ultimately uneven — easily the weakest of the original three films. Revenge of the Sith is a terrible film in a bad trilogy that barely does it’s one job: setting up for A New Hope.
I’ll pause here so you can furiously defend in the comments. 5,4,3,2,1, moving on.
Episode 9 has to be a triumph. People will need to walk out of it with their fucking faces melted off by how good it is, and the director of Jurassic World doesn’t seem like the guy for that job. Don’t get me wrong — Safety Not Guaranteed is a very adorable fun movie, and Jurassic World is fine, but that’s all it is — it’s fine. If your face was at all melted when you left the theatre, it’s because the heat was cranked way up or something.
The grand finale of Mary Sue and Her Band of Diverse Friends Promoting White Genocide can’t just be “fine.” It can’t be safe or forgettable. It can’t feel like a studio gave a director a list of boxes to tick. It’s got to be made by a director that can say “dude the toys will sell, let me make a great movie.” It’s got to kick the shit out of people and melt faces. Here are a few directors that I think could melt faces with a Star Wars movie real, real good.
I’m sure that this will go a long way in production staff changes at Disney.
Cary Joji Fukunaga
Fukanaga at the helm of a sci-fi epic is not much of a stretch. Sin Nombre, Beasts of No Nation, and the first season of True Detective often feel like they’re set on bizarre planets we’ve never seen before. Giving Rey’s closing chapter the same challenging, beautiful artistic touch that was given to Beasts would give the film the weight we know that a Star Wars film deserves.
The industry lined up for this woman after Selma rightfully conquered the various very important award ceremonies that were available to conquer. It’s a strong, powerful movie, and that feeling could go along way in whatever last stand is coming for us in Episode 9. Plus maybe we could sneak Common in as a Knight of Ren. Just saying.
It’s frustrating that he’s not one of the most in demand directors in the world, because it’s hard to think of filmmakers and projects that aren’t influenced by Park. From the Wachowskis to Daredevil to the remake of Oldboy, the legacy of Oldboy hangs heavy on Western movies. He’s a master of raising the stakes and managing tension, as evident in Thirst and Stoker, and I can’t think of a film that releases tension better than his famed extended hallway axe fight sequence.
Obviously the folks behind Star Wars already have a major boner for The Raid, as the stars had cameos as gangsters hunting Han Solo before being eaten by one of two things I don’t like about the movie. Evans was actually the inspiration of this article! After watching his samurai short Pre Vis Action, I couldn’t help but want to see him behind the camera on a Star Wars movie. After all, what is Star Wars but Flash Gordon mashed with Kurasawa?
Do yourself a favor and watch The Good, The Bad, The Weird. I don’t really know how else to sell this guy. It’s fun, it’s weird, it’s crazy, and it has one of the most entertaining chase sequences I’ve ever seen in a movie. One thing I do miss about ol’ Lucas was his penchant for having something in each of his movies that you have never seen in your life, and Jee-woon Kim would absolutely be up for the challenge of one upping Imperial Walkers, Jabba palaces, podraces, AND Dexter Jettster.
Seriously, go watch The Good, The Bad, The Weird.
Do you have any directors you’d love to see stage a Jedi fight? Let me know in the comments!