Unless you’ve been hiding under your bed since before The Force Awakens, you’ve surely heard about the shortage and omissions of Rey (aka the most popular new Star Wars character) toys and merchandise, and I’ll happily call bullshit on their “Spoilers!” excuse. ***SPOILERS for The Force Awakens ahead…****
Are you gone? I repeat ***Spoilers are coming****
Hasbro and Disney have been trying to sell Spoilers as the reason we’ve not seen many Rey toys, because she “carries a lightsaber.”
“One of the biggest surprises that filmmakers wanted to keep under wraps was that the Force awakens in Rey and she carries a lightsaber. We always planned a second wave of product after the movie’s release that would include secrets revealed in the movie.” (Paul Southern, head of licensing for Lucasfilm.)
What a load of crocked-up horse-hooey. First of all, Rey doesn’t “carry” a lightsaber throughout the film. She doesn’t even come in contact with one until the back half, and she doesn’t fight with Kylo Ren until The Force Awakens’ final quarter. In fact, if you ask most people how they’d picture Rey in their minds, I can’t think of a one who’d envision the character walking around with a lightsaber; they’d think of Rey carrying her staff. Maybe that’ll change with Episode VIII, but for now, most of us were pretty impressed with Rey’s inherent strength (non-Force related) and her staff fighting skills. Hell, even J.J. Abrams is calling bullshit on this nonsense.
“I wish I had more details about merchandising and the schedule,” he said. “I’m learning things as you are. I will say that it seems preposterous and wrong that the main character of the movie is not well represented in what is clearly a huge piece of the Star Wars world in terms of merchandizing. […] I read that she wasn’t in the Monopoly game and was quickly making phone calls about this because if it were true — and it is true, and now Hasbro, of course, has said they’re going to put Rey in — it doesn’t quite make sense why she wouldn’t be there. She’s somewhat important in the story.”
Hell-the-fuck-o you lying liars who lie, “the filmmakers” have just called you out on your interpretation of spoilers, and omitting the character instead of the lightsaber was a foolish move. In fact, in Hasbro’s own statement about having left out a Rey Monopoly figure belies their ignorance about public demand for female character toys, which is what’s really behind the omission.
“We love the passion fans have for Rey, and are happy to announce that we will be making a running change to include her in the Monopoly: Star Wars game available later this year.”
Clearly, the Rey token was never planned, and leaving it out had nothing to do with spoilers. Preposterous indeed. Meanwhile, the second wave of Force Awakens toys are about to hit shelves, and there are additional Rey and Leia figures:
If any toymakers or distributors just happen to be reading, “Listen, ‘big deal.’ You got another problem. Women always figure out the truth. Always.”
Stop making excuses for your sexist marketing and merchandising, and give us our Rey, our Black Widow, our Gamora, our Leia, our Wonder Woman. Give us the heroines we deserve.