Let's Preemptively Denounce the Frontrunner for the Han Solo Sequel!

By Dustin Rowles | Star Wars | April 14, 2016 |

By Dustin Rowles | Star Wars | April 14, 2016 |

According to Deadline, a guy named Alden Ehrenreich is currently poised to be cast as Han Solo in the 2018 Han Solo prequel.

Alden who?

You know, this guy. Didn’t you see the Coens’ Hail Caesar!?

No, you didn’t see it? Not many people did (It was kind of mediocre, but Ehrenreich was really good in it).

He was also in Beautiful Creatures, which no one saw, either. The reviews weren’t particularly good. I liked it, and I thought Ehrenreich was great in it, too.

He’s solid. Funny but not goofy, charismatic but not douchey. He’s good looking, but not obnoxiously so. He’s got a good voice. His face isn’t punchable. He’s a good Jewish kid, went to NYU to study acting, was discovered by Spielberg, knows the theater. He’s from a modest background. He seems like a humble good guy. What have you got against him? You don’t even know him!

Yeah, but he’s not Harrison Ford!

Well, no. Harrison Ford is pushing 80 and can’t play a young version of himself in a prequel. That’s why they have to cast someone else.

But, but … His name is Alden!

What’s wrong with Alden? It’s a unique name, without being weird. Plus, it’s not like he named himself.

You guys are terrible. Give him a chance! He hasn’t even been cast yet, and you’re already talking shit? Let’s at least wait for the trailer. He could be perfect for the role, and I bet he’s a nicer guy than Harrison, because that guy is kind of a grump.