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Welcome to the Author Archive for Grainger Heavensbee

Nailed It: Nicole Byer Just Wants a Man with a 'Big D*ck'

Celebrity Social Media Round-Up: Blake Lively, Kristen Bell, Antoni Porowski

What Did Groot Say At The End Of 'Avengers: Infinity War'?

Look, We Can All Agree Beautiful People Have Problems Too, But ...

Is Ben Mendelsohn's 'Ready Player One' Character a Scientology Easter Egg?

Sean Penn Can F*ck His Own Face Sideways

Amy Poehler Gets Profane with the NRA Over the Use of a 'Parks and Recreation' GIF

Sia Thwarts Paparazzi by Posting Nude Photo of Herself on Social Media

Let's Marinate for a Minute on Bisexual Rose Tyler Making Out with the New Doctor, OK?

Did Anna Faris Really Say That About Chris Pratt?

Dear Diary: Is It Weird That Alex Jones Turns Me On?

Unfriending My Trump-Supporting Dad Was Essential Self-Care

Twitter Reacts After the United Airlines Story Moves to the Victim-Blaming Stage

Is Paul Ryan Hotter With the Beard or Without?

Power Ranking GOP's Best Dad Bods

Mike Pence's Interview with 'Time' Magazine This Morning Turned Inexplicably Awkward

Admitted Molester and Philanderer Josh Duggar Continues to Be Doing Fine

Did You Remember that Scarlett Johansson Was Married? Yeah, So, About That

HBO Will Show Analingus, But Here's Where They Will Draw the Line

Reminder: Be Gentle with Your Sex Dolls

How Amazing Is King Ezekiel on 'The Walking Dead'? Wait Until You Meet the Actor Who Plays Him

John Cusack's 30-Year-Dating History Is B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Ignorant Hatred Is the Real Scourge Overtaking America

'Fear the Walking Dead' Still Feels like a Knockbuster Version of 'The Walking Dead'

Twitter Reacted to 'The Walking Dead' Season Finale, And It Wasn't Pretty

How Twitter Reacted to That Shocking Final Moment on 'The Walking Dead'

Professional Obnoxiousist Max Landis Butthurt After Lexi Alexander Twitter Rant on White, Male Privilege

How Twitter Reacted to the Major Comics Departure in This Week's 'The Walking Dead'

10 Irish-Born Actors Who Can Get It, Ranked Objectively

We Need to Talk About What's Happening on 'The Walking Dead'

Negan Is the Only Character Keeping 'The Walking Dead' Afloat Right Now

'The Walking Dead' and the Storm Before the Calm Before the Storm

Should Tonight's Huge 'The Walking Dead' Twist Have Viewers Worried About Michonne?

'The Walking Dead' 'Pops Off' A Classic Episode 'Right Off the Bat' (*Wink Wink*)

Short Hotties Standing Next to Tall People

Ben Affleck Got a Massive Back Tattoo Because He's a Mid-Life Crisis Cliche

Could You Identify Kylie Jenner in a Photo Line-Up?

'The Daily Show' Brings a Low Point Into an Otherwise Stellar Week of Guests

A Token Sacrifice on 'The Walking Dead' Midseason Finale Doesn't Satisfy our Bloodlust

Donald Trump Is an Unrepentant Asshole

Is this a Tipping Point for Liberal Outrage?

How MacGyver Ruined This Week's Major 'The Walking Dead' Reveal

Plus-Sized Model Endeavors to Launch an Unretouched Photo Revolution

The Cast of the 'Snow White and the Huntsman' Sequel Will Drain Your Drool Spigot

Who Were the Two New Characters Introduced on This Week's 'The Walking Dead'?

John Oliver's Hero Gives Birth To His First Child

The Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale NannyGate Situation Just Got Super Creepy

Megan Fox Is Super Intelligent

'The Walking Dead' Sets Up Zombie 'Twilight' and Stubbornly Refuses to Answer the Season's Most Pressing Question

20 Incongruous Modeling Photos from Before They Were Famous

You're Alright, January Jones. You're Alright

Why You Should Keep Watching 'The Walking Dead'

Did Kevin Rape Jenny On 'The League'?

Listening to Secret Audio Tapes of Jared Fogle Will Require Multiple Silkwood Showers

This Old Bill Cosby Interview with Sofia Vergara is Super Creepy

'The Walking Dead' Recap: Agony. Brutal F*cking Agony

Who Won the Genetic Lottery: The Lesser Known Actress Offspring of Famous Celebrities Edition

Here's the 'Sex' Scene Where Daniel Radcliffe Fell In Love with His Real-Life Girlfriend (NSFW)

Spoilers: The Posh Tablecloths Ran with Crimson Gore on This Week's 'Downton Abbey' (GIFs!)

What Was the Significance of the Letter 'A' Carol Saw on 'The Walking Dead'?

Contrary to Conventional Wisdom, Not All Men Age Better Than Their Female Counterparts

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend One Step Closer to Repopulating the Earth in their Beautiful Image

Rose McGowan Hijacked a Political Gala and Insulted Everyone in the Room

Get Our Your Cigarette Lighters: Amy Poehler Covers Bette Midler's 'The Rose'

Anne Hathaway Returns Her Eggs Four Times, Because Breakfast is the Most Important Meal of the Day, Damnit

'The Walking Dead' Kicks Off the Season with a Ferocious, Breathtaking Premiere

Shirtless, 48-Year-Old Vin Diesel Is Basically Garbage Now

Here's a Photo of Role Model Frances McDormand Drinking Wine on a Toilet

Claire Danes Discusses Home-Wrecking Mary Louise Parker's Relationship with Billy Crudup

Portly and Bald Is Not a Good Look for Matthew McConaughey

A Smitten Jason Momoa Adorably Reunites with His 'Game of Thrones' Co-Star Emilia Clarke

Matt Damon Offers to Show His 'Weird Penis' to Jessica Chastain

Helen Mirren Has Retired Her 'Pleasure Pillows' From Public Life

Azealia Banks Goes Off in a Profanity-Fueled Tirade Against the LGBT Community

'Ghost Adventures' Couple Found Dead in an Apparent Murder-Suicide

Nicole Arbour Follows Up 'Dear Fat People' With a Screed About Abortion And It's Not Going Well

Peter Dinklage Spit His Gum Into His Wife's Mouth at the Emmys

A Facebook Troll Brilliantly Handled the Homophobes Who Freaked Out Over Rainbow-Colored Doritos

Bristol Palin Is Being a Real Asshole about Obama's Support of Ahmed Mohamed

Steve Rannazzisi, of FX's 'The League,' Admits of Elaborate Lie About 9/11 Escape

Cara Delevingne Calls Richard Madden 'Desperate' For Calling Her 'Ungrateful' and 'Unprofessional'

Tom Hardy Gets Pissy with a Reporter For Asking About His Sexuality

Did George Clooney Play Sandra Bullock's Butt Double in 'Our Brand Is Crisis'?

Ranking the 10 Garbage-iest Garbage People of the Summer

Hayley Atwell May Have Some Serious Celebrity Dubsmash Competition

Bourne is Back, and Dear God, So Are Matt Damon's Pectorals

Damon Wayans Staunchly Defends Bill Cosby: Those 'Bitches' Were 'Un-rape-able'

The Internet Needs to Stop Saying that Taylor Swift Is in a 'Feud' with Other Musicians

At Least There is Someone in the Duggar Family with Some Goddamn Sense

Jennifer Lawrence Photographed in Bed with Kris Jenner

Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg are Delightful, Real-Life Human Beings

Sorry, Henry Cavill's Penis Is Not Superman Endowed

Madonna Shares Sweet Photo of Her and Ex-Husband Sean Penn

Natalie Dormer Said Some Things That Sounded Terrible Out of Context

Henry Cavill's Nerdiness Is Like a Jack Hammer to Your Pelvic Floor

Shameless Braggart Tom Brady Enabled Poondog Ben Affleck's Affair with the Nanny

Boobs vs. Guns: Miley Cyrus Endeavors to Manufacture Taylor Swift Feud

What We Know about 'The Mindy Project's' Move to Hulu

Sex Scenes Between 'Game of Thrones' Body Doubles Leads to Real-Life Romance

Henry Cavill on Sex Scenes: 'All You’re Doing is Smacking Your Nuts Against Someone'

Brooke Hogan Defends Hulk Hogan’s Racist Comments, Should Really, Really Stop Talking

Ben Affleck Denies He's Dating the Nanny Jennifer Garner Had Fired

Facts You Didn't Know About the Six Men Who Have Played Rusty Griswold in the 'Vacation' Movies

Daenerys' 'Game of Thrones' Body Double Pushes the Limits of Instagram's Nudity Policy

This Week in 'Jesus Christ, Celebrities Are Hot'

Watch Will Arnett's Performance of 'Everything Is Awesome' On 'Lip Sync Battle'

Love Shrugs Its Shoulders: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to Divorce

Can You Guess Who This 'Harry Potter' Actress Is Based on these Images?

In World's Shittiest Prank, Paris Hilton Was Tricked Into Believing Her Plane Was About to Crash

Queen Tracee Ellis Ross Dismissively Scoffed at Chris Brown at the BET Awards

Mother Of Four Post Selfie of 'Perfect Body,' Reveals Perfect Imperfections

Charlie Sheen Spent Father's Day Sh*tting All Over Denise Richards on Twitter

Colin Jost Eviscerates Time Warner Cable In A Crowd-Pleasing Twitter Tirade

Kit Harrington's Expression When Asked Who Would Die in the GoT Finale Is Priceless

The Media Will Finally Know How To Report On Kristen Stewart and Her Girlfriend

Dave Chapelle Says He'd Choose Rachel Dolezal In the Racial Draft

Kids Talk About Caitlyn Jenner: 'Who She Wants to Be Is Who She Should Be'

Tipsy Kate Moss Escorted Off Of Plane for Being Disruptive

Twitter Did Not React Kindly to Beyonce's 'Big Announcement' This Morning

No One Gives A Single Sh*t About Justin Bieber Anymore

The Former Bruce Jenner Appears as a Woman on 'Vanity Fair' and Reveals Her New Name

Erin Andrews Explains Why She Rolled Her Eyes During the Marriage Proposal on 'Dancing with the Stars'

You Brought This On Yourselves, Jackasses: 'Joe Dirt 2' Teaser Trailer

Anna Kendrick Demands to See Daario's Dick on 'Game of Thrones'

John Travolta Defends Scientology Against Accusations Made by 'Going Clear'

Big Boo from 'Orange is the New Black' Has Shed 50 Pounds

Alert: Christina Hendricks Transitions from Gorgeous Redhead To Gorgeous Blonde

Check Out the Makeover Arya Stark Got For Season 5 of 'Game of Thrones'

Check Out Jared Leto's Hair in that Awkward Stage Between Allman Brother and the Joker

Topless Chelsea Handler Allows Gravity to Demonstrate Her Boobs Aren't Fake (NSFW)

Nicole Beharie Is Feeling Slighted by Her 'Sleepy Hollow' Producers

Watch Jimmy Fallon and Kelly Clarkson Perform a 'History of Duets'

Watch The Fantastic '50 Shades of Grey' Sketch Inexplicably Cut From This Week's 'SNL'

Stephen Colbert Joins a Proud Late-Night Host Tradition, Grows Vacation Beard

Danny Masterson Trashes Scientology Doc, Blames School Shootings on Prozac

Charlie Sheen Comes to 'Hero' Brian Williams' Defense Against 'Hooligans' and 'Oligarchs'

See Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan Naked Before '50 Shades of Grey' Arrives in Theaters (NSFW)

Shirley Manson from Garbage Thinks Kanye Should Drink a Tall Glass of Shut the F*ck Up

Colin Farrell Is Impressed with How Humble Ewan McGregor Is About His Enormous Dick

Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez Are Feuding Like Goddamn Millennials

Sam Smith Quietly Settles Royalty Dispute Over Similarities Between 'Stay With Me' And a Tom Petty Song

Lindsay Lohan's Photoshopped Selfie Is Embarrassing on So Many Levels

'The Walking Dead' Companion Series May Be an Origins Story, Of Sorts

Phylicia Rashad Ignores Overwhelming Evidence Against Bill Cosby, Shames His Victims

The 24 Best Christmas Songs From TV And Film

When Kate Moss and Cara Delevingne Take Sexy Photographs of One Another, the Internet Wins