Secret shame television shows, we all have them, don’t we? We hide them away, admit them to no one—maybe we won’t even watch them when our significant others are around. It’s just too embarrassing. But when people are away, the secret DVR stash gets played, amiright? Some of you might be hooked on an entire channel’s worth of shame, say…Lifetime or Bravo or TLC? (This would be a good time to hang your head and sheepishly look down. Go ahead.)
If you watch any of these shows you should be very ashamed of yourself. And I am.
A modern “Dynasty” filled with sex, scandal and some of the best bitchfacing this side of Joan Collins; what’s not to love? I only watch for the double collars.
This show has so many things of which I am utterly not fond (Texas, Religion, Republicans, Kristin Chenoweth) and yet…I refuse to comment further on the grounds I might incriminate myself.
Horrifying, completely horrifying. Dead animals are under all that stuff! Why would anyone want to watch this mess, and doesn’t your mouth get dry when you sit with it open for an entire hour?
If you’ve ever been behind the scenes of a wedding, you know the personality disorders that can come to the forefront as the pressure to fulfill a bride’s every wish for her “perfect/dream day” mounts. It’s a lot more fun to watch when you’re not involved.
6. “Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood”
It might just be
me and the gays watching this one, but Tori and family are totally sweet and it’s insane how many balls this overachieving, former-Donna can juggle.
5. Any of the “Real Housewives” Series
Screaming, yelling, catfights, Boxtox. Lather, rinse, repeat.
4. “Keeping Up with the Kardashians”
Lifestyles of the rich and bootylicious? Surgically altered Bruce Jenner? Fake weddings? I’ve got nothing; I don’t know why people watch but they do.
3. “My Secret Addiction”
I will flat out say I am terrified by this show and don’t think I could get through a single episode. Also, do not Google for images before you’ve eaten…speaking of which, that lady up there is hooked on drinking nail polish.
2. “16 and Pregnant” or “Teen Mom”
I can’t decide if this is a good or bad idea, “showing the hardships of teenage pregnancy” and I can’t figure out who watches it, other than people trying to pull a Scared Straight! on someone. So if you watch, out yourselves right now!
1. “Toddlers and Tiaras” or “Dance Moms”
Hang down your head mom-foolery makes me want to hang down my head and cry.
Let’s be honest here, Cindy Davis has no shame.
Now with Bonus Thursday Man Candy: