Recently, Donald Trump has frequently accused Hillary Clinton of playing “the woman card.” And, can you blame her? IT’S THE BEST CARD. You get points for miles and everything! Well, .77 miles for every man-mile, BUT STILL. Here are some wonderful things you can get with your woman card!
Something pretty, little lady
Three-quarters of a cheesecake or something, I don’t know
Tampons (with tax)
Did I mention shoes?
A phone to pretend you’re on while walking home alone
A respectable outfit so you don’t get yourself assaulted, you little minx
A slew of society-induced body and self-esteem issues
A mean case of imposter syndrome
Near-constant stripping of reproductive rights and access to care
Growing numbers of sexual assault in the military
A higher propensity toward mental illness
Constant harassment online
* The woman card is subject to an APR of 24.56% and a lifetime of never feeling good enough. Order today!