Traveling Down The Etsy Rabbit Hole That Began With A Bracelet Of Teeth

By Kristy Puchko | Lists | October 16, 2015 |

A hobby on mine is browsing Etsy, either for unexpected gifts or unique statement necklaces, like this T-rex skull affair. But as with all browsing algorithms, results can get a bit wonky. For instance, I bought one pillow with a pug on it as a gift, and now my Etsy recommendations as overwhelmed with all things snub-nosed dog.

But my browsing last night took a very weird turn when this boutique browsing site considered my interest in a T-Rex skull etched from wood and assumed it meant I might be into the “Denture Bracelet” pictured above. This led me down a rabbit hole that revealed a side of the cutesy kitschy craft site I never knew existed. Here’s what I learned.

Teeth is major point of inspiration for one jewelry designer.

And he’s not alone. Someone thought downtown teeth would be a fun graphic for a pair of panties. They come in glow-in-the-dark and “shiny and chrome,” so choose your sexy time trauma.

Yet, I’m more disturbed by this take on the popular pussycat panty, because GOOD LORD IT’S TORN A CAVITY THROUGH HER LADY PARTS!

Another unexpected muse is dismembered baby doll arms. Buy them for your children’s bedrooms, and they’ll never sleep again.

From there I stumbled into Etsy’s taxidermy section, where I learned a popular trend is Critter Under the Influence, like “Squirrel Taxidermy 420 Happy High Guy Flippin Da Bird.”