Today In "What? NO! DO NOT DO THAT! ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
Is everyone taking crazy pills? I was cut off twice by an older woman in a blue Hyundai on my way home today. Apparently signs alerting you to lanes ending or being right turn only are not sufficient for her to merge without cutting me off last minute. What the hell? DO NOT DO THAT.
Then I get home and, of course, the internet thrives on NONONONONONONONONO WHYYY. So now I’m sharing it with you. You’re welcome.
1. I don’t care what you call it, blackface is NOT OKAY. NO.
Chocolate challenge ummmmmmm yikes pic.twitter.com/vdjNOfaRAK— mom 💋 (@mxomee) July 9, 2017
2. Sony’s live-action Barbie movie is going forward and an Oscar-winning actress is in talks to star. WHY.
“The “Barbie” movie is said to be in the vein of “Splash”, “Enchanted” and “Big.” In it, the main character gets kicked out of Barbieland for not being perfect enough and lands in a real-world adventure.”
Vulture seems to think the top candidates are Brie Larson (Room), Emma Stone (La La Land), or Jennifer Lawrence (Silver Linings Playbook).
3. Woody Allen is still making movies and people are still agreeing to be in them. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHO THE MAN IS.
Kate Winslet (SHAME SHAME) and Justin Timberlake (SH—wait, what?) are starring in Woody Allen’s latest lackluster piss droplet of a movie, Wonder Wheel. This needs to be stopped because Woody Allen and because Winslet acting opposite Timberlake.
4. You can watch the opening scene of The Emoji Movie, but you can also let your cat shit in your mouth.
Just because you can does not mean that you should.
There’s still time to let the cat use your cakehole as a litter box before you click play.
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