Looks like Tim Burton is passing on the live-action version of Maleficent starring Angelina Jolie. The film, which tells the story of Sleeping Beauty from the perspective of Maleficent (the sexiest villain in all of cartoon history) will go ahead with Jolie still attached. I’m not certain why Burton dropped out of the project. Is Jolie not sexy enough? Not corpsey enough? I assure you, Tim, she is both sexy and corpsey. Hmm, well maybe we can tempt Burton by super sexicorpsifying the following Disney villains. Look, Tim, we’re starting with your very own sexy corpsey bride! How can you possibly say no?
1. Helena Bonham Carter in April Is The Cruellast Month
2. Nathan Fillion in Gastone Cold Fox
3. Jason Momoa in Gastone Cold Fox II: Electric Man Boobaloo
4. Naveen Andrews in Jafar Far Sexier Than Aladdin
5. Kathy Bates in Ursulacious: They’re Real And They’re Tentacular
6. Imelda Staunton in Queen of Hearts: Painting The Roses Dead
7. Getting Krunk On Yzma starring…
Patrick Warburton and Eartha Kitt. Why mess with perfection?