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The Only 12 People On The 2011 Forbes Celebrity 100 List I Wouldn't Kick In The Taint

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | May 19, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | May 19, 2011 |

Every year Forbes releases their Celebrity 100 list which isn’t comprised of the richest or most famous celebrities, but rather aims to rank (using, what, I don’t know, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat?) and quantify that elusive quality of “celebrity.” The Five Categories on which these people are judged are Money and their presence on TV/Radio, in the Press, on the Web, um, in the Social scene. (I secretly suspect there is a swimsuit competition as well.) Once Forbes has thrown America’s most famous people through this weird and somewhat arbitrary Hadron Collider, do you know what comes out the other side? For the most part it’s the People Who Are Making This Country A Stupider, Duller, Cheesier, Lamer Place. So you can get it a taste, here’s the Forbes Top Ten:

1. Lady Gaga
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Justin Bieber
4. U2 (though I suspect they really mean Bono)
5. Elton John
6. Tiger Woods
7. Taylor Swift
8. Bon Jovi (whaaaaaaaa?)
9. Simon Cowell
10. LeBron James

So, yeah, that Rapture/Apocalypse thing isn’t looking so far-fetched now, right? You can read the rest of the list which includes Charlie Sheen (#28) and Glenn Beck (#30) here. But, you know what, there are a few people who deserve all the hype and acclaim. It ain’t easy to be that rich and powerful and successful without coming off, from time to time, like a total doucheweasel. Do I really want to kick Angelina Jolie in the taint? No, I guess, not really, but she and her Brad Pitt Brat Pack do make me wrinkle my nose from time to time. The following twelve folks, however, should teach a Master Class on “How To Be Both Popular AND Adorable.” No small feat.

12. Mark Wahlberg-Forbes #74
Mark Wahlberg.jpeg
11. Robert Downey Jr.-Forbes #66
10. Sandra Bullock-Forbes #44
9. Usher-Forbes #32
8. Danica Patrick-Forbes #96
7. Courtney Cox-Forbes #93
6. Ellen DeGeneres-Forbes #31
5. Christopher Nolan-Forbes #47
4. Tina Fey-Forbes #92
3. Steven Spielberg-Forbes #22
2. Hugh Laurie-Forbes #97
1. Tom Hanks-Forbes #58

**Full-disclosure, I don’t really do sports. I thought Kevin Durant was wearing lederhosen the other night. So if any of the athletes on that Forbes list are adorable and cuddly and worthy of my love, please let me know. The Williams sisters? Are they cool peeps?

Joanna Robinson is currently contemplating how enjoyable it would be to kick Danielle Steel in the taint. Let her know who you would most enjoy kicking via Email! or Twitter. Oh and if you’re wondering why RDJ is so low, Joanna can only assume you haven’t seen Iron Man 2 or Due Date yet. Lucky you.

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