What We Do in the Shadows February 13 (in the USA)
Horror, comedy, mockumentary, whatever. What We Do in the Shadows stars Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, who also wrote the film, as vampire roommates that accidentally sire a new vampire. It’s already been released overseas to mostly positive reviews.
The Lazarus Effect February 27
It sounds like Flatliners, which I adore. The Lazarus Effect stars Olivia Wilde, Evan Peters, Mark Duplass, Sarah Bolger, and Donald Glover as med students that bring the dead back to life. They inadvertently bring Something back over, as one meddling with life and death is wont to do.
It Follows March 27
Another film that has already been released, albeit through film festivals, is the female-led It Follows. After Jay has sex, things start to go very, very wrong for her in a paranormal, murderous kind of way.
Crimson Peak October 16
Guillermo del Toro co-wrote and directed this Gothic horror tale. Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska) is learning that her new husband (Tom Hiddleston) may not be the man he seems. We also get Jessica Chastain, Charlie Hunnam, and a crumbling mansion as part of the deal.
Victor Frankenstein October 2
Daniel Radcliffe plays Igor to James McAvoy’s Viktor Von Frankenstein. Told from Igor’s perspective, we learn how the two came to be involved in the reanimation of dead body parts into one giant, misshapen, confused man.
The Last Witch Hunter October 23
I’m looking forward to this Vin Diesel vehicle purely for the cheese and action that will surely be in ample supply. Kaulder (Diesel) is an immortal that must stop a witch-fueled plague in modern-day New York. Rose Leslie and Elijiah Wood also star.
Sinister 2 August 21
The original Sinister scared the piss out of me. I had avoided all spoilers and mentions of the plot and only knew that Ethan Hawke was the star.
I’ll never look at a kid near a lawnmower the same way again.
I’m cautiously optimistic about the sequel that moves Shannyn Sossamon into the path of Mr. Boogie.
Krampus December 4
From the writer and director of Trick ‘r Treat comes the Christmas tale of the Krampus. He’s a Christmas demon that punishes naughty boys and girls for their insolence during the holidays. I’m sure this holiday film will elicit as much glee and fear as Samhain does.
Poltergeist July 24
I don’t think Sam Rockwell can save what is almost guaranteed to be a mess of a remake. Sure, the special effects might be a bit better than in the 1982 original, but what’s the point? I much prefer to watch the original two films and pretend that the third, and this remake, don’t even exist.
The Kitchen Sink September 4
Vanessa Hudgens, Ed Westwick, and Mackenzie Davis aren’t promising names to hang your horror movie hopes upon. But Denis Leary, Patton Oswalt, Keegan-Michael Key, Bob Odenkirk, and Joan Cusack? Those aren’t really horror names either, actually. I don’t know that their talents can lift up a plot concerning three teens trying to stop a war between vampires, zombies, and humans.
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension March 13
OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP.
Amityville: The Awakening TBD
Bella Thorne stars in this sequel to the legend of the based on true events that may have been made up for notoriety for a family and a house that still perseveres in our popular culture. A family moves into the iconic Amityville house, somehow blissfully unaware of its reputation, to be closer to the best hospitals for whatever the brother in this movie has. Voices soon begin whispering to the pseudo-goth Disney starlet. lolwut
Rob Zombie’s crowd-funded horror flick has evil clowns in a place called Murder World. These murder clowns kidnap people around Halloween and force them to play a game called 31. A murder game with murder clowns in Murder World that takes place over 12 murderous hours.
Insidious: Chapter 3 June 5th
I SAID MAKE IT STOP.