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The Best And Worst Of White Men Explaining 'Lemonade'

By Emily Cutler | Lists | April 27, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Lists | April 27, 2016 |

You know, it’s not like she didn’t warn us. In Beyoncé’s own words, she’s the bitch that was going to cause all this conversation. And God help me, there is no way that I’m going to write a Think Piece on Lemonade. I’m wildly unqualified to comment on either the artistic merit or the experiences that created Lemonade (while simultaneously being physically unable to stop playing “Hold Up”), and thankfully, smart enough to recognize that. But these dudes? Not so much. Here from best to worst is all of the White Dudes adding their own unnecessary two cents.

The Best

Best Line: “The Pelican Brief.”

The Meh

Best Line: I don’t know. Maybe the Rachel Ray emoji sentence. How is this thing a recurring bit?

The Worst/ I Don’t Even Know

Best Line: You would think that it pops up in the video right off the bat with “The entire modern Liberal social-engineering movement is about causing discord and unhappiness in the general population.” But no. That’s merely the standard line from documented crazy person Alex Jones. The actual best line is a toss up between either

“A lot of top rock stars that I personally know were called into meetings [with MTV], and told, ‘You either merge with gangster rap and promote crime in the streets and drug dealing, or we’re not going to air your music anymore.’”
“We can’t play the audio because there’s so much cussing.”
Part of me wants to demand that Jones explain how 2 swear words in a nearly 4 minute song is “too much” cussing for them to get a usable clip, but mostly I want to find out if he has a copy of Pearl Jam’s top secret gangsta rap album. You’re the best, Alex.