The ostensible purpose of a promo still is to make a movie look good enough that potential audience members will fork over between $7 and $14.50 (oh, New York) to see the it. I say “ostensible” because sometimes movie promo stills can serve as a subtle form of sabotage, giving the movie a public face that’s… er, less than encouraging as an indicator of general quality. When it happens, it’s magical.
Some of the movies whose stills I’ve included below are good. Most are bad. All needed to have a serious talk with their marketing team.
For maximum ridiculousness… make it look like the characters are dancing
From The Eagle, or Step Up 2 Hadrian’s Wall
The Legend of Chun Li was a masterpiece.
You can see the hope dying in Hayden Christensen’s eyes.
Get down with your bad self, The Expendables’ Jason Statham.
Christopher Lambert: Actor, cultural icon, opera singer.
Wolverine’s song is an angry song.
…or just making stupid faces
This works particularly well for action movies like Transformers: Dark of the Moon…
…or The Expendables and Immortals
Though the potential is there for comic book movies like The Spirit as well.
Doubly so if it’s Bruce Willis
Does he hold a chicken at any point during the movie? Even better.
Your movie’s special effects are bad? Don’t worry. Show ‘em off anyway!
Sorry for exposing you to The Phantom Menace.
I still can’t believe that Wrath of the Titans was a movie that happened.
Tell one guy, but only one guy, that you’re going for a fourth-wall busting approach to promo stills, so look right at the camera, yeah? That’s it. Right down the lens.
That’s a cruel trick they played on you, Red Dawn’s Josh Peck.
More like The CRAY Team, amirite?
Revel in soon-to-be-dated fashion trends
2 Fast 2 Furious 2 Whatever the Hell This Is
Or already dated fashion trends, if for some reason you’ve decided to dress a character in your ’70s-and-modern-day-set-movie like he’s a ’90s mall kid
QUICKSILVERRRRRR! *shakes fist at the sky*
Just give one to the f*cking space dog
Thank you, John Carter.
When all else fails, just chose a frame with random sh*t in it
This one is from The Tooth Fairy, and that knowledge will help you not at all in figuring out what the hell is going on here.
Dude in the background, you OK? No, never mind. You’re in R.I.P.D.. You’re not OK.
Seriously, what’s with R.I.P.D.? Was its marketing team comprised entirely of 12-year-old boys? I’m pretty sure that breaks several labor laws.
Remember, you want no one to want to watch this movie. Not that pretty much every possible still from Jack and Jill wouldn’t accomplish that same purpose.
Is this supposed to be phallic?
Rebecca hasn’t had a folder labelled “Ridic Promo Photos” on her computer for over a year now. Noooooope.
← The 10 Least Memorable 'Saturday Night Live' Cast Members of This Century, So Far | I'm Like a Pint of Guinness: Long, Black, Cool and Irish: 5 Very Cool Irish People and the Actors who Played Them →