The 7 Best B-Level Villains

Just because they’re A-List in our hearts, it just doesn’t put them amongst the top hombres in Hollywood. Here’s to the skeezy, low-life, double-crossing, drug-dealing mobsters. Here’s to the foreign-accent brandishing, government vendetta-swearing, well financed anarcho-terrorists. The schemers, the dastardly dreamers, the life-time cons and dapper dons. The militants, belligerents, the crass and the eternally bad-ass.

1. Jurgen Prochnow

Every good villain list has to include a German. They’re always three steps ahead of the good guy, but one good foot in the ass from being foiled. Cultured, composed, always crooked.

Bad Guy Roles: The Replacement Killers, Judge Dredd, Beverly Hills Cop II

Bad-Ass Moment: Trusting Brigitte Nielsen with his plans in the Alphabet Robberies. Seriously, giving that chick an electric toothbrush takes balls.

2. Vernon Wells

It’s not his fault chainmail can’t stop Ah-nold from throwing a steam pipe through his chest. His legend should be bigger, but just like Major League Baseball, we don’t place asterisks on PED users.

Bad Guy Roles: Mad Max 2, Commando, Innerspace

Bad-Ass Moment: Ever threatening to harm one damn hair on Alyssa Milano’s head.”-EJ. [ETA: Full credit to Mike for pointing out that Wez does NOT shoot Max’s dog. He does still get sandwiched between a semi and a rocket-propelled dune buggy, though.]

3. Joaquim de Almeida

Oh, it’s a bi-lingual bloodbath here. Need a Mexican cartel head? An affluent Brazilian slum lord? How about a politically savvy Cubano drug peddler? See this man.

Bad Guy Roles: Fast Five, Desperado, Clear and Present Danger

Bad-Ass Moment: More or less gets the President impeached, after convincing the CIA to give up a Black Ops team wreaking havoc in the Colombian jungle, and a quick detour in the States to choke an unfortunate female liason. Has to be defeated by Harrison Ford, Willem Defoe, and Rainbow Six Superman Ding Chavez.

4. Eric Roberts

Julia who?

Bad Guy Roles: Sharktopus, The Prophecy II, The Dark Knight

Bad-Ass Moment: Beating up a cop. In real life.

5. Bolo Yeung

CHONG LI! CHONG LI! CHONG LI! CHONG LI! CHONG LI!

Bad Guy Roles: Enter the Dragon, Bloodsport, Double Impact

Bad-Ass Moment: Finds a way to kill someone with his bare hands very often, but lest we forget the moment the shit hit the fan in Bloodsport.

6. Michael Ironside

Even when he smiles, small mammals have the urge to throw themselves off the nearest ledge in fear. His breakfast consists of a bowl of rivets and kerosene.

Bad Guy Roles: Scanners, Total Recall, Highlander II

Bad-Ass Moment: Oh yeah, I’m gonna post it. All hail Revok. Put your coffee down first.

7. Powers Boothe

Wrote the book on gravelly-voiced supervillainy. He always projects a cool and capable intelligence, with his trademark diction that oftenspeaksveryfast and then slooooooooows dooooown so he can snarl in your ear and make you wish you were back in kindergarten.

Bad Guy Roles: Deadwood, Sudden Death, Tombstone

Bad-Ass Moment: Shoots Veronica Mars in the face. Oh no, wait, he shoots her brother in the face and makes Joannie Stubbs shoot a teenage girl. That’s just good evil.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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