Yesterday, in advertising a showing of Ravenous on their channel, IFC asked, “Is Guy Pearce the hunkiest cannibal ever?” The airing didn’t come on until 11:30 p.m., and I lead a structured life, folks. If I’d stayed up until 1:30 to finish the movie, my whole world would’ve collapsed, a snow bank would’ve crashed in upon my house, and my family and I would’ve had to kidnap passers-by and eat them to sustain ourselves. Then, one day, Vince Vaughn would vie for a place on this list when he played the cinematic version of me. So, no: I didn’t stay up to see if Guy Pearce is the “hunkiest” cannibal ever.
But I did wake up this morning and decide to research that very question. Is Guy Pearce the hunkiest cannibal ever? Close, but I’m giving the nod to someone else in this, the 5 Hunkiest Cinematic Cannibals.
5. Elijah Wood in Sin City
4. Gaspard Ulliel in Hannibal Rising
3. Ethan Hawke in Alive
2. Guy Pearce in Ravenous
1. Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street