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The 10 Wealthiest Male Entertainers List Provides the Perfect Tea Party Argument for Raising Taxes on the Rich

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | September 14, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | September 14, 2011 |

This year, Forbes is squeezing all they can out of the Richest Celebrities Alive pieces, having separated them into the highest paid film actors, the highest paid television actors, and now the highest paid entertainers (there is some crossover).

But what’s more fascinating about this list is what a neat little weapon it could be used to convince your typical Tea Party Republicans into supporting a hike on the tax rates of the wealthiest Americans. Think about it this way: There are two kind of Republicans, the sane rational type that prefer to put their own economic interests ahead of society’s and the batshit Tea Party with its racist and homophobic undercurrents, and its apparent belief that people who don’t pay for their own health insurance deserve to die.

But what if you tell Tea Party that, by refusing to raise the tax rates on the top one percent of the wealthiest Americans, you’re essentially allowing two black men, two Jews, two foreigners, a gay, a hippy do-gooder, and a degenerate shock jock to maintain more of their wealth, which they will no doubt use to spread more lies about the existence of the Holocaust, bankroll gang warfare, abort more fetuses, and convert more of the nation’s youth into homosexuals. Just think about it this way: If you raise the tax rates 6 percent on just these 10 individuals, that’s an extra $55 million that the Republicans can spend on abstinence education, missile defense and that goddamn wall they want to erect to keep the foreigners out. Or think about all the executions you could perform with $55 million!

So whaddya say, Tea Partiers? Let’s tax these fuckers! Let’s diminish their abilities to spread their liberal propaganda!

1. Tyler Perry: $130 million

2. Jerry Bruckheimer: $113 million

3. Steven Spielberg: $107 million

4. Elton John: $100 million

5. Simon Cowell: $90 million

6. James Patterson: $84 million

7. Dr. Phil McGraw: $80 million

8. Leonardo DiCaprio: $77 million

9. Howard Stern: $76 million

10. Tiger Woods: $75 million

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.