Last week, when writing about the new Annie Leibovitz Disney portraits, I mentioned that I vastly preferred The Beast from Beauty and the Beast in his bestial form. This raised at least one eyebrow among readers and the dreaded word “furry” was bandied about. Now, listen, I think it’s perfectly natural for any of us who were brought up on a steady diet of Disney to have lingering romantic/nostalgic associations with characters. I will admit to having a (perhaps double-standardish) issue when people (usually gents) admire the seashells on Disney’s Little Mermaid. But that’s because she’s sixteen. SIXTEEN. So that’s fairly skeevy, non? Also, there’s a terribly disturbing series of drawings of the Disney men as underwear models. I’ll give you the link, but I really advise you don’t click it. You clicked it, didn’t you? You sickos.
Rest assured, my fondness towards these five Disney dudes (hirsute or no) is more innocent in nature. These were my first crushes and they beat the pantaloons off Prince (not at all, not even remotely, heavens what a misnomer, they should have called him Boring) Charming.
Roger “101 Dalmations” I really admired Roger’s beaky looks and ability to turn hatred of an acquaintance into a really entertaining song.
Baloo “The Jungle Book” My love extends to any of the characters voiced by the amazing Phil Harris (Little John, Thom cat from The AristoCats, etc.). So hep!
Prince Phillip “Sleeping Beauty” The only Prince on this list, Phillip was actually splendidly dry and sarcastic and way too good for the pretty (but really rather dim) Princess Aurora.
Bert “Mary Poppins” Dick Van Dyke’s murderous cockney aside, Bert was terribly dreamy. You have to admire a man who can dance with penguins.
Robin Hood “Robin Hood” Bar none, the most winning Disney character of all time. I’ll refrain from foxy puns, lest that furry thing be brought up again, and I will concede how much this character stole from Errol Flynn, but ooh-de-lally, I love him so.
Joanna Robinson thinks that if she had to pick a Disney female to crush on, it would be Maleficent. Duh.