I find the Important Stuff so you don’t have to.
5. Celebrity Rumors Ran Wild This Weekend.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Were Getting Married Saturday! Or Wait, Maybe It’s Next Weekend…
The Commonwealth has William and Kate; we make do with Brangelina. As with most of our “royalty” (Depp, Madonna, The Goopster, Clooney) the couple seems reluctant to claim their association to the United States, preferring instead to reside at a posh South of France estate. And so after a flurry of activity outside their home—aka Chateau Miraval—this weekend, entertainment outlets are duked it out over Wedding/Not Wedding rumors. Pitt’s parents and “Angelina’s jeweler” Robert Procop were said to have arrived, and a large outdoor tent erected. Naysayers reminded that French law requires marriages to take place at the town hall, but heck, if anyone can finagle an exception, it’s Le Brange. As of this writing, speculators have changed the date to August 18th; it only makes sense that preparations for this sort of shindig would have begun early. Let us keep our collective ear to the ground and our neck hair on alert. The first to report wedding goosebumps should immediately set off the Angelina Is Pregnant frenzy.
Meanwhile Back in Sad JenLand™, the corresponding Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux Broke Up Gossip Flew.
I’ve got about as much reliable information on this one as the wedding rumor. First the Broken Up headlines rang out, followed by the reassuring publicist denial (Maybe it’s next week?). What we should keep in mind is that back in the day, that same publicist also denied Pitt and Aniston were over. Trust no one. And if it turns out to be true, we should all maintain a candlelight vigil to get poor Jen through the maybe-wedding business—then find her a
good better therapist.
Updated: And, apparently the best way to negate the breakup rumors is to get engaged. Take that Brange! It’s a race to the aisle, people.
4. We Were Alerted to the Coolness of the Frankenweenie Soundtrack.
Tim Burton is at his best (lately) with animated features. The Frankenweenie promos have been adorable, and now its eclectic soundtrack listing has been announced. Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ Karen O. follows up that kick-ass version of Immigrant Song (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) with an “unconventional love song,” Strange Love. Additionally, The Cure’s Robert Smith contributed Witchcraft, and actress Winona Ryder (who voices Elsa van Helsing) did a song as well. Here’s the full soundtrack:
Strange Love - Karen O
Electric Heart (Stay Forever) - Neon Trees
Polartropic (You Don’t Understand Me) - Mark Foster
Almost There - Passion Pit
Pet Sematary - Plain White T’s
With My Hands - Kimbra
Everybody’s Got a Secret - AWOLNATION
Immortal - Kerli
My Mechanical Friend - Grace Potter featuring The Flaming Lips
Lost Cause - Imagine Dragons
Underground - Grouplove
Building a Monster - Skylar Grey
Witchcraft - Robert Smith
Praise Be New Holland - Winona Ryder
3. ScreenWerks Edited Together an Entertaining Remix of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” Guests’ Responses to the Proust Questionnaire.
Fuck those leaf blowers.
2. The First Images from Darren Aronofsky’s Noah Were Released.
Building the ark:
The director has been working on the script for his Black Swan follow-up since 2004, and interested in Noah since he was a child. Being Aronofsky, his version of Noah’s tale may differ from the usual—in an interview he discussed Genesis’ “dirty stories” and how Noah was “the first person to plant vineyards, drink wine and get drunk.” Led by Russell Crowe in the title role, the cast includes Sir Anthony Hopkins, Emma Watson, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Kevin Durand, Douglas Booth, Marton Csokas and Mark Margolis. The film is set for a March 28, 2014 release.
1. A New Lawless TV Spot, Featurette, Infographics and Photos Made the Rounds. We are Putty in John Hillcoat’s Hands.
The bootlegging brothers’ gangster saga hits theaters August 29th.
Cindy Davis would like Guy Pearce to narrate her life.