film / tv / substack / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / substack / web / celeb

ewan_mcgregor_32.jpg

Lust-Ranking TV & Film's 20 Best Depression Beards

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | September 30, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | September 30, 2013 |


Nicholas Brody — Homeland: Okay not strictly a depression beard. More of a “I’ve been kidnapped and emotionally and mentally abused until I don’t really know who I am anymore.” Not a good look.
Homeland__episode_one_review.jpg

Jack Bauer — 24: This is another captivity beard. Equally not lust-inspiring.
24-Yr67G.jpg

Ted Mosby — How I Met Your Mother: Everything Ted does is the worst. We accept this as fact.
Ted-s-beard-ted-mosby-6880606-1280-720.jpg

Andy Botwin — Weeds: NO.
vlcsnap-55681.jpg

Jack — Lost: I actually found this less upsetting than real world Kate’s addiction to lip gloss, but it’s not great.
jackbeard.jpg

Ron Burgundy — Anchorman: When there are things IN the beard? Foodstuffs? Oh we must look away.
ron-burgundy.png

Eleven — Doctor Who: This is the first and only time I’ll concede that Matt Smith is funny looking.
tumblr_lrfig5FHee1qkrmt1o1_500.jpg

Dr. Cox — Scrubs: Well this BARELY counts. It’s more like robust stubble.
5x21-Dr._Cox_finally_talks.jpg

Jesse Pinkman — Breaking Bad: The hair was particularly egregious, but the whole look was tremendously distressing. Especially remembering how he once was.
tumblr_mtxzvqBny21qzoslyo1_500.jpg

Commander Riker — Star Trek: The Next Generation: Riker’s beard is generally one of my favorite’s in TV history, but alternate timeline Riker? Well he was coping with the Borg. Maintenance was futile.
Riker_gone_mad.jpg

Max — Happy Endings: Aw who can resist the bear beard?
Maxthebear.jpg

Ron Swanson — Parks & Recreation: Listen, this is a monstrosity. But, then again, it’s also Ron Swanson. Basically a Swanstrosity.
Feral-Ron-Swanson-2-1316792673.jpg

Walter White — Breaking Bad: Honestly? This is the best Walt has ever looked. And he’s BASICALLY The Fonz.
tumblr_mty68d8QIi1s47wydo1_500.gif

Bruce Wayne — The Dark Knight Rises: Do you think Alfred snuck in and shaved the sides off in the night?
Wayne-in-beard-and-dressing-gown.jpg

Marco Ruiz — The Bridge: I don’t know if it’s Bichir’s accent or the accompanying Hoodie Of Constant Sorrow, but this worked for me. I can’t explain it.
tumblr_mtucwo0TRz1rm0xnbo6_250.giftumblr_mtucwo0TRz1rm0xnbo3_250.gif

Mr. Rochester — Jane Eyre: Higher than it has any right to be by virtue of being a Fassbeard.
michael-fassbender-as-mr-rochester-jane-eyre-2011-michael-fassbender-25911639-1920-1040.jpg

John Luther — Luther: You don’t think he was depressed and angry in Series 3? Feh, that’s his secret, he’s always angry.
uktv-luther-s03e01-2.jpg

Clark Kent — Man Of Steel: What beard?
Superman-The-Man-of-Steel-Movie-bearded-Clark-Kent-by-actor-Henry-Cavill.jpg

Christian — Mouline Rouge: It comes off as more artistic than depressive. But he’s in France at the turn of the century so I’d wager the stench is epic.
Moulin-Rouge-Christian-16-last-scene.jpg

Margaery Tyrell — Game of Thrones: Winner, winner.
margaery-and-renly.jpg