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It's Cookie Time! Power Ranking The Cast Of Troop Beverly Hills

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | April 12, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | April 12, 2013 |

Listen the 1989 Shelley Long vehicle Troop Beverly Hills may not be an enduring classic. Packed with Pee-wee Herman and Robin Leach jokes, it’s not exactly timeless. What it is, however, is f*cking delightful and for Women Of A Certain Age (me, mine), it’s inextricably linked with childhood. So let’s catch up with Troop 332. Relax, don’t worry, it’s Friday but, more importantly, it’s cookie time.

10. Four-Way Tie Between Ami Foster, Emily Schulman, Heather Hopper and Tasha Scott: Who aren’t doing much these days.
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9. Mary Gross: Oh how I wish this lady were higher because I flat out adore her. Her four years on “SNL” are criminally over-looked and both Casual Sex? and Feds underrated comedy classics. She’s better than “Old Lady #3” on “Hart Of Dixie.” In short, Annie Herman, boi-yoi-yoing.

8. Betty Thomas: I’d also like to rank this lady higher because she left acting to become a fairly successful film director. I had no idea! She directed one of my all-time favorite romantic comedies Only You (Robert Downey Jr., Marissa Tomei, Billy Zane’s wig). Unfortunately, she’s also responsible for that dratted Squeakquel. It’s not exactly working at Walmart, but it’s pretty bad.

7. Tori Spelling: Hey this moppet dyed her hair blond and was cast on a 90s teen soap and eventually graduated and that’s it, right? Thank god, because if she had turned herself in to a cellophane tabloid monster and tarnished her Donna Martin legacy, I would be crushed.

6. Shelley Morrison: Yup, the woman who played the maid Rosa in Troop Berverly Hills then played the maid Rosario on “Will & Grace.” Who says there aren’t diverse opportunities for non-white ladies in Hollywood? Anyway, I hope she’s having the last laugh somewhere with her feet propped up on stacks of Lifetime syndication money. You earned it, babe.

5. Kellie Martin: Speaking of Lifetime, the queen of Television For Women, Ms. Kellie Martin, was last seen on that network’s Army Wives. Fingers crossed she gutted someone with a vegetable paring knife. Oh no, “A Friend To Die For,” I’ll never forget.

4. Shelley Long: Recently seen boning Matt Dillon on “Modern Family.” Eat your heart out, Al Bundy.

3. Craig T. Nelson: The Muffler Man here breaks my heart on a near-weekly basis on NBC’s “Parenthood.” If he looked as good as the last two ladies do, he might have ranked even higher.

2. Carla Gugino: Gugino is talented as hell. Fun and dynamic and a strong performer. She also looks, uh, pret-ty damn good. I’ll forgive her Sucker Punch. But grudgingly.

1. Jenny Lewis: The darling queen of the indie scene, Jenny Lewis and her sometimes-banadmate Blake Sennet (“Salute Your Shorts,” “Boy Meets World”) are two of the strongest success stories to come out 80s/90s entertainment. Go ahead, do yourself a solid and listen to Rilo Kiley for the rest of this gorgeous afternoon. That or “Cookie Time.” Your choice.

Joanna Robinson hopes you’re not going to complain about those last two leggy photos. Pants? They don’t need no stinking pants.

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