These days, it’s hard to believe that actresses and singers so proudly wear their Marilyn Monroe fixations on their shoulders (and in one case, their forearm). If I were a starlet (which, of course, I am not), I would probably deviate from the course and try to be anything but Marilyn. Nothing against the icon, but when everyone tries to be one person, it detracts from the original. Better to be different, which is far more daring than the Xerox versions that run amuck throughout Hollywood.
In that vein of thought, here’s a quick rundown of the 15 most visible Marilyn Monroe imitators of recent years. Let’s do this:
Michelle Williams: Perhaps this one shouldn’t count as an “imitator” since Prisco dug the hell out her My Week With Marilyn performance. For this Monroe-in-drag Vogue spread, however, she looks like a poorly-styled copycat.
Katy Perry: News just arrived that Harvey Weinstein wants Perry to play Marilyn in the Broadway version of My Week With Marilyn. At the risk of sounding sexist, it sounds like Harvey just wants another notch on his belt. Watch out, Russell Brand?
Madonna: Perhaps Madge should get a little credit for being so bloody persistent in her everlasting homage to Marilyn. She’s done so on a very frequent basis and most notoriously in her “Material Girl” video. Hilariously, Lady Gaga now copies Madge copying Marilyn.
Megan Fox: While Fox hasn’t gone so far as to (publicly) dress in manner of Marilyn, I think that her dreadfully ugly Monroe tattoo does even further. Fortunately, a telltale tattoo fading led to Fox’s admission that she was “over it” and was indeed removing the tattoo because Monroe was bipolar, and Megan didn’t want that negative energy on her or some shit. Good for her.
Peaches Geldof: Bitch, please.
Lindsay Lohan: For whatever reason, Lohan was chosen to recreate “The Last Sitting” for New York Magazine. She also
wrote scribbled a fawning essay that made it into a Marilyn biography. Soon, she’ll appear in a Monroe-themed Playboy shoot. Where will it end? The grave.
Christina Aguilera: This GQ photo was part of X-tina’s promotional campaign for Back to Basics, so it sort of makes sense that she’d try to pull a Marilyn here. Also, she may very well have bathed in the process, which is always a plus.
Paris Hilton: Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin here but to assume that perhaps Paris knew how ridiculous she and her rack appeared on the red carpet? It’s like a cliché upon a cliché or, at the very least, two of them smooshed into the same push-up bra.
Scarlett Johansson: This image comes from a Dolce & Gabbana advertising campaign where ScarJo “channels” Marilyn. She looks good and, fortunately, never had to open her mouth past the vacant stare.
Charlize Theron: Perhaps Charlize was going for the “Most Boring Marilyn” ever. As in most of her other endeavors, she succeeds mightily here.
Anna Nicole Smith: This one was actually slightly successful at evoking a jokingly pin-up version of the quintessential blonde bombshell.
Hayden Panettiere: This photo was taken from a Vanity Fair spread, so it’s fair to say that Hayden didn’t intentionally beg to be styled this way, but who are we really kidding here?
AnnaLynne McCord: You do know who she is, right? Oh, never mind.
Britney Spears: Britney’s been attempting to evoke a down home, Cheetos-loving Marilyn for quite some time now.
And she’s still doing it as revealed from this stage shot of Brit’s Femme Fatale tour.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.