Every Single Chris Not in the Marvel Cinematic Universe
This is it. There are no other Chrises besides these. This is every Chris.
Chris Pine, whom DC got to first
Christoph Waltz, aka Der Humpink, who somehow has not played a Marvel villain yet. I know. It’s weird.
Christopher Columbus, the director
Christopher Columbus, the explorer. Look at that face. Cap needs to punch that face the fuck out.
Jesus H. CHRISt, who kind of has an Iron Man thing going on with the glowing heart already. Everyone who reads this is going to hell.
That one dude named Chris who was on Glee I think. Remember Glee? That was a weird time. That tanked hard quality-wise, right? Like Heroes hard? I don’t know. I only watched the first five episodes. What is regionals, and did they ever get there?
Chris Tucker, but someone needs to release him from Kevin Hart’s basement first.
Chris Parker, as played by Elisabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting. The best spoken word jazz performer.
Christopher Lee, who is dead.
Christopher Walken, who is not dead.
Christopher Nolan, whose many fictional wives are dead.
Christopher Eccleston. Oh, wait, shit, he was in the MCU, wasn’t he? I couldn’t even tell it was him under all that reject LARP Night Elf makeup.