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Every Single Chris Not in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

By Rebecca Pahle | Lists | May 12, 2016 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Lists | May 12, 2016 |


This is it. There are no other Chrises besides these. This is every Chris.

Chris Pine, whom DC got to first
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Chris Messina
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Christoph Waltz, aka Der Humpink, who somehow has not played a Marvel villain yet. I know. It’s weird.
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Kris Kross
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Christopher Columbus, the director
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Christopher Columbus, the explorer. Look at that face. Cap needs to punch that face the fuck out.
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Chris Christie
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Chris Martin
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Chris Rock
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Jesus H. CHRISt, who kind of has an Iron Man thing going on with the glowing heart already. Everyone who reads this is going to hell.
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Chris Traeger
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Chris Isaak

That one dude named Chris who was on Glee I think. Remember Glee? That was a weird time. That tanked hard quality-wise, right? Like Heroes hard? I don’t know. I only watched the first five episodes. What is regionals, and did they ever get there?
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Chris Tucker, but someone needs to release him from Kevin Hart’s basement first.
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Chris Hadfield
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Christopher Meloni
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Chris Parker, as played by Elisabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting. The best spoken word jazz performer.
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Christopher Lee, who is dead.
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Christopher Walken, who is not dead.
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Christopher Nolan, whose many fictional wives are dead.
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Christopher Eccleston. Oh, wait, shit, he was in the MCU, wasn’t he? I couldn’t even tell it was him under all that reject LARP Night Elf makeup.
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Christopher Robin
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