Last week I wrote about, and put my limited Photoshop skillz to, the seeming inevitability of the biggest franchises and blockbusters of our modern cinematic era crossing over into each others’ streams. The biggest movies today, of course, almost entirely come from adaptations of superhero comics, and the idea of crossovers is a common trope for that genre. Assuming Warner Bros. can get their DC ship to actually set sail on something besides Batman power, I don’t see any reason (besides, maybe, taste) why studio executives wouldn’t be trying to synergize the hell out of everything they make. I don’t necessarily support this idea, it just seems like a fiscal no-brainer. And when the rest of Hollywood saw how much money Marvel and Warner could make, if their beast with two backs ever actually consummated, the rest of the studios with big franchises would immediately begin greenlighting mash-ups of their own. Because movie magic only matters if you can duplicate huge financial successes!
What follows is the most likely cinematic crossovers I could imagine, and the scripts practically write themselves. Which is good, because that means less expenditures and more profits. Bottles of Pernod-Ricard Perrier-Jouet and Bugatti Veryons for everyone!
The Expendables 3 (Terminator meets Rambo meets Universal Soldier)
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Tagline: “Now with more pretense for existing.”
Krazy Katniss Beyond the Arena (The Hunger Games + Mad Max)
Directed by George Miller
Tagline: “She fought for a life of freedom, but she never expected to take the fury road.”
The S.T.A.T.H.A.M. (The Transporter + Crank + [Your Five Other Favorite Statham Movies])
Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor
Tagline: “Sneaky Taciturn Ass-kicking Thuggishly Heroic Action Man”
(Predator vs. Alien Source)
Rob Payne writes the comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter, tumbls on the Tumblr, and his wares can be purchased here. He initially planned for ten entries, but bad Photoshop is really time consuming.