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Don't Talk Back, Just Drive the Car: The Best and Worst 80s Alternative Music Videos

By Cindy Davis | Lists | June 7, 2012 |

By Cindy Davis | Lists | June 7, 2012 |

I miss my MTV. I miss the real MTV that actually showed music videos, which were sometimes like creative little mini-films that told a story we may or may not have understood. I miss the cool animations, claymation, surrealism and cynicism. I miss Michael Hutchence. But that’s beside the point—which is—here are the slightly late 1980s Music Video Awards (as interpreted by me). Do add your own.

Best Overlooked Video Because of That Damned Sledgehammer Video:

Peter Gabriel, Digging in the Dirt

Best Muppet Dancing, Pre-Thom Yorke; Best Nonchalant Boobies (NSFW):

R.E.M, Pop Song 89

Best Sneering While Dancing in a Blade Runner Universe:

Billy Idol, Dancing with Myself

Best Use of Mannequins with An Unintended “Doctor Who” Reference:

A-ha, The Sun Always Shines on T.V.

Best Use of Preexisting Clones:

The Smiths, Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before

Best Use of Spandex, a Plastic Flowerpot and a Whip:

Devo, Whip It

Best Beaker Immitation:

Depeche Mode, Master and Servant

Worst Video for a Great Song:

World Party, Ship of Fools

Most Unenthusiastic Performance By a Band Who Should Be Kicking Music Video Ass:

Violent Femmes, American Music

Egregious Misuse of a Charismatic Lead Singer:

Siouxsie and the Banshees, Kiss Them For Me

Cheesiest Ode to Mannequin:

Berlin, Sex (I’m A…)

Worst Dancing By a Hot Guy in a Ridiculous Outfit:

Duran Duran, Planet Earth

David Lynch Award—Most Incomprehensible Video:

New Order, True Faith

The Why Are We Watching This? Award (NSFW):

Soft Cell, Sex Dwarf

Cindy Davis has been banned in three countries.

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