It’s the week of July 4th and that means one thing: The Pajiba 10. And that means I could probably write anything here and no one would notice because bangable celebs are being gif’d in comment threads and lions are being moistened. So: BUTTBOOGERWADPICKLEWOMPWOMP.
This week also means ‘Merica will be celebrating independence with cookouts, beer, exploding things, fireworks, and beer. Since you damned weirdos beg for Archer posts so much, I thought we would look to Sterling and the gang for party pointers.
1. Remember the environment during your celebrations this weekend. Try to use renewable resources to cook your food.
2. Cornhole and badminton are lame games. Introduce something new to the family!
3. Remember to pace yourself when drinking.
4. This holiday is made for overindulging. Just like all of the other days of the American year.
5. Don’t leave crumbs and chunks of food all over the damned place.
6. Do remember to buy enough food to feed everyone.
7. Be careful around fireworks.
8. Party like you ate a body cast made of cocaine.
9. Finally, wherever you end up partying, don’t overstay your welcome.