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"Batman Was The Bomb In Phantoms" And Other Movies Identifiable Without The Batman Actor's Name

By Jodi Smith | Lists | May 20, 2019 |

By Jodi Smith | Lists | May 20, 2019 |


In Slack this morning, Emily mentioned that she and her boyfriend discussed how none of the movie Batmans have been in a movie together. That being the case, any movie starring Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale, Ben Affleck, or (fingers crossed) Robert Pattinson can be described as “Batman [does movie plot].

I IMDB’d some things and we decided Emily and Mister Emily were correct. I love making up weird garbage, so see if you can figure out which movie starring one of the six Batman actors I’m describing. Or don’t and just read them and bask in my brain product. Whichever.

President Batman’s Daughter Is Rachel Dawes

Batman Dies In Surprise 9/11: The Movie

Batman Vs The Blob

Batman’s Wife Is A Straight Psycho, But He Sucks Too

Distraught Widower Batman Hears Voices In EVP Recordings Or Sommat

Batman Is A Dapper Dan Man, Goddamnit

Batman Goes Bonkers and Attempts To Bone Literal Pig Women On An Island

Batman Searches For Saddam Hussein’s Gold

Pallid, Thin Batman Watches A Lighthouse

Batman Out-Magics Wolverine

For Some Reason Batman Is An Accountant That Kicks Asses While Being Somehow Off Socially

Batman Fights Vampires In A Titty Bar

Batman Is An Immortal Vampire That Glitters In The Sun

Batman Assists Hank Pym In Ridding A Village Of Man-Eating Lions

Batman Convinces Faux Loki To Follow His Big Brain Outta Boston

Batman Attempts To Marry An Underage Girl So He Can Be Released From The Afterlife Underworld OR Batman’s Seen ‘The Exorcist’ About A Hundred and Sixty-Seven Times and It Keeps Getting Funnier Every Single Time He Sees It

Image sources (in order of posting): Warner Bros. Pictures, A24