I don’t dislike Karen Gillan, but I pretty much despise Amelia Jessica Pond. And, I suppose my dislike of Pond is more about the way the character has been written—I guess I don’t like Steven Moffat? No, that’s not true either, so I’ll have to go back to blaming Amy. Try as we might, wait as we may, rather than growing on us Amy has divided and conquered us all. While most have been won over by Eleven, too much of Series 5, 6 and 7 have been spent negotiating the Perils of Pond. It’s time for new blood. It’s time to say “Goodbye, Amelia…and your little dog Rory, too!”
1. “Doctor Who” Is Not a Soap Opera.
So much time was frittered away with the Amy, Rory, Doctor triangle. Were all the double entendres (“I love you. I know you think it’s him. I know you think it ought to be him. But it’s not. It’s you. And when I see you again I’m going to tell you properly, just to see your stupid face. My life was so boring before you just…dropped out of the sky…”) meant to keep us on the edges of our seats? If we wanted that sort of malarky, we’d be over on Soapnet.
2. How Much Does Amy Really Love Rory Anyway?
She barely paid him any attention—presuming him gay—until her own daughter explained that Rory had a crush on her.
She tried to hit on the Doctor right before her wedding.
3. She’s a Killer Queen. (How Many Times Did Rory Die or Almost Die Because He Was with Amy?)
1. “Amy’s Choice:” Killed in alternate dream reality
2. “Cold Blood:” Shot
3. “Day of the Moon:” Seemingly shot
4. “The Curse of the Black Spot:” Nearly killed; resuscitated
5. “The Doctor’s Wife:” Nearly killed by House
4. And Yet, She Stil Had the Audacity to Say That Shit?
Rory: “It’s just arithmetic. It’ll take longer with me because… we both know… we’ve both always known that… basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me. Which today is good news because it might just save both of our lives.”
Amy: “How can you say that?”
Rory: “Two thousand years, waiting for you outside a box. Say this isn’t true. And since you know it’s true, give me your arm. Amy!” (She slaps him.)
Amy: “Don’t you dare say that to me. Don’t you ever dare.”
Rory: “Amy, you kicked me out!”
Amy: “You want kids, you have always wanted kids. Ever since you were a kid. And I can’t have them!”
Rory: “I know.”
Amy: “Whatever they did to me at Demon’s Run, I can’t ever give you children. I didn’t kick you out. I gave you up.”
Rory: “Amy, I don’t…”
Amy: “So don’t you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box because that is nothing, Rory, nothing! Compared to giving you up.”
*Note to Amy: You already had a child together. Granted, you didn’t get to raise her, but she still counts as a child.
*Second Note to Amy: Ever heard of adoption?
This little broken up marriage scenario may have been one of the worst Moffat’s ever served up.
5. Let’s Get Real—Amy Is a Spoiled Child Who Puts Hers Own Feelings Above All Others.
Amy has been a selfish, angry child her whole life. She can blame it on the Doctor or the loss of her parents (fair enough), but just like everyone who’s had a difficult or traumatic childhood, there’s a time to grow up. There’s a time to stop being angry at the world or thinking everyone owes you, a time to stop looking for someone to prove his love to you over and over. There’s a moment where you learn to not always put your feelings first—like maybe you think about the love of your life’s feelings before you flirt with the Doctor on your wedding day. We kept waiting for Amy to grow up, but it’s never happened.
6. The Doctor Belongs to Everyone and No One, Not Only You.
One of the most irritating (and disrespectful to longtime “Who” fans) bits involving Amy was this opening, which managed to reduce the Doctor to Amy’s “Raggedy Man” possession.
7. We Can’t Wait to Say “Hello” Again (Jenna Louise Coleman Has Captivated Us).
Like a breath of fresh air, in only a few short bursts of airtime, Coleman’s Oswin captivated us with her intelligence and snappy repartee. She already feels like the anti-Amy.
On the other hand, Gillan bowling is impossible not to love:
Now go read Courtney’s Most Hearbreaking Doctor Who Moments!
Cindy Davis is ready for the Angels to Take Manhattan, and Amy…