The woman who was caught masturbating in handcuffs
A 33-year-old woman in Sinaloa, Mexico was arrested for forgetting that Fifty Shades of Grey requires no audience participation. She was sitting in the 12th row of the theater and, according to some reports, wearing handcuffs, which made it really convenient for the cops who arrested her during the screening.
The women who vomited in the aisles
A theater in Glasgow that serves alcohol had women on opening night get so rowdy that they threw up in the aisles.
The time a man was stabbed with a wine bottle at the same screening with the vomiting women
At the same screening, a man reportedly told some of those loud vomiting women to be quiet and they did what any rational person would do: they “glassed” him with a broken wine bottle.
The woman who was so turned on (or off?) that she pooped and vomited everywhere
During a sold out Valentine’s screening in Milton Keynes, England, a woman lost control of her… everything.
The entire audience had to be evacuated after one woman, believed to be drunk, vomited copiously during the film. Another source added: “I’m not sure of her age but she so drunk she couldn’t move. She practically had to be carried out. And the mess she left behind was just disgusting. There was no way they could clean it up there and then - it would be a specialist job, so the film was stopped and everybody had to leave.” … “She lost control of everything, including all bodily fluids. The whole cinema stank,” said one disgruntled cinema-goer.
The children who were shown Fifty Shades instead of Sponge Bob
During a matinee on Presidents Day, a Colorado movie theater accidentally started screening Fifty Shades in a theater meant for Sponge Bob Square Pants. They caught the mistake before anything sexy happened (because nothing sexy happens in that movie?), ultimately making it less traumatizing than the outdoor drive-in that showed these two movies on neighboring screens.
The foot fetishists who stank up a theatre
In the UK, theaters reported finding all sorts of x-rated paraphernalia left behind after screenings, “including used condoms, masks and handcuff packaging.” Some people also seem to think a full-body latex suit is the perfect movie-going outfit. The weirdest account, though, is of the women who took to reenacting certain scenes with their own footwear.
A group of women were caught in the dark after other audience members made complaints during the movie, which is filled with explicit sex scenes.
A worker revealed: “They had taken off their shoes and socks and tied the latter around their eyes during the blindfolding scene, and people were complaining about both the smell and the fact that they were moaning in unison.”
That time teenagers rioted after being denied The Grey
The next time some teenagers demand tickets to Fifty Shades of Grey, theaters may want to consider just giving in. Because apparently the alternative is a full Lord of the Flies riot of 100 teens on a Florida (duh) mall movie theater and food court.