I have no idea how many of our readers are parents. But if you are, or if you’ve ever been charge of a little one, odds are you’ve second guessed your parenting decisions at some point. But don’t worry about that overly processed baby food you fed your child or that you let them play with your iPad too much growing up. Seriously, don’t worry, I know for a fact you’re doing a better job than these peeps.
The Titular Mom — Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead : First of all, let’s discuss the stellar parenting that resulted in her kids being such mongrels to begin with. Secondly, let’s ponder the advisability of leaving your mongrel kids alone with a relative stranger for two months. TWO MONTHS. Thirdly, let’s reflect on the message of this movie which is that with mom out of the picture, these kids finally found happiness and purpose in life. Cool story, bro.
Wayne and Diane Szalinski — Honey I Shrunk The Kids: Can’t afford a lab outside of your family home for your wacky inventions? Then maybe invest in some better security for your garrett/office. That way you won’t have to scrutinize your breakfast cereal for wayward children.
Daniel Hillard — Mrs. Doubtfire: No, really, I cannot believe this movie didn’t end with a restraining order and jail time. Hillard may have had his heart in the right place, but it’s his mentail condition that concerns me.
Jim and Brenda Baker — Sixteen Candles: The John Hughes oeuvre is basically predicated on the concept of (usually pretty harmless) bad parenting and we all know that the lovely Paul Dooley here makes the most of his “I’m sorry moment.” That being said, Brenda Baker, how do you forget the date you popped a baby out? I don’t care how upset you are that Ginny is marrying a bohunk.
John Bender’s Dad - The Breakfast Club: The exception to that “usually pretty harmless” label above is, of course, John Bender’s dad. Who’s a legit sh*thead and doesn’t even pick his son up from detention. That’s okay, you can’t exactly punch the air when you’re riding in your parent’s car.
George and Lorraine McFly — Back To The Future: This movie makes no bones about the fact that the McFlys have a problematic relationship and generally disappointing lives. But the movie never seems to question the fact that Marty has a close relationship with a mentally unstable scientist who deals with terrorists. He’s basically best friends with Doc Brown. That didn’t set off any alarm bells, McFlys? Earth to McFlys.
Peter and Kate McCallister — Home Alone 1 & 2: I mean. They did it twice.