Eric Dane: Because Mom appreciates that he starts each day with a healthy bowl of Wheaties.
Anderson Cooper: You know how your Mom pretended your younger brother wasn’t gay for 20 years? She’s still pretending that Anderson Cooper isn’t.
Johnny Depp: Oh, you have a huge crush on Johnny Depp, too? Belated Happy Mother’s Day!
Tom Skeritt: Because she’s never been able to shake that Freudian crush she developed on him after Poison Ivy
Nate Berkus: I have no clue who this guy is, but in a Rasmussen poll of 1,210 women over the age of 55, Nate Berkus topped the list of men mothers wanted to decorate their interiors.
Tom Selleck: Because men like Tom Selleck never go out of style. Older women have some sort of pubic fascination with him.
Mark Harmon: There’s a reason your mother is watching the same repeat of “NCIS” for the fourth time. With the door closed. It’s the same reason there are never any C” batteries in her house. What? Older women have needs, too.