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Quit Hitting Yourself! Quit Hitting Yourself!:

By Brian Prisco | Lists | October 28, 2009 |

By Brian Prisco | Lists | October 28, 2009 |


Naturally, most of this would end in pink goo if the twain should meet (god rest you Ron Silver), but just for giggles, I’ve assembled this list, and I will allow you all to speculate on the hypothetical outcomes.

I had to disqualify a few that I’ve already used in my Boogeymen Project, which all ten of you are enjoying. That comes to its stirring finale this week. And so in the spirit of that, I’ve hastily assembled this list. You don’t like it? Come up with your own.

1. Rocky vs. Rambo (Sylvester Stallone)

2. The Running Man vs. The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

3. Eva Peron vs. Breathless Mahoney (Madonna)

4. Fox vs. Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie)

5. Sheriff Brody vs. Bob Fosse (Roy Scheider)

6. Titus Pullo vs. Frank Castle (Ray Stevenson)

7. The Man Who Fell to Earth vs. Jareth the Goblin King (David Bowie)

8. Zod vs. Bernadette (Terence Stamp)

9. Neo vs. Ted (Keanu Reeves)

10. Bodhi vs. Dalton (Patrick Swayze)

11. Edward Scissorhands vs. Willy Wonka (Johnny Depp)

12. Charly Baltimore vs. Barbara Maitland (Geena Davis)

13. Frankenfurter vs. Pennywise (Tim Curry)

14. Mathilda vs. Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman)

15. Alice vs. Leeloo (Milla Jovovich)

16. Domino Harvey vs. Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) (Though I’d rather see Elizabeth Bennett)

17. Kit McGraw vs. Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra)

18. Ace Ventura vs. Mask

19. John MacLaine vs. David Dunn (Bruce Willis)

20. Indiana Jones vs. Han Solo (Harrison Ford)

21. Luke Skywalker vs. The Joker (Mark Hamill)

22. Jason Bourne vs. Loki (Matt Damon)

23. Batman vs. Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale)

24. Captain Mal vs. Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion)

25. Walker, Texas Ranger vs. The Legend of Chuck Norris (Chuck Norris)