23 Vampires In The Buffyverse Better Than That Irritating Simp Darla

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | May 2, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | May 2, 2013 |

Yesterday Buzzfeed released a list of 27 Reasons Why Darla Is The Best Vampire In the Buffyverse. “Ha!” I hear you snort! “Not bloody likely!!” I couldn’t agree more. Darla is, to quote my colleague Courtney, “wallpaper glue.” Here are 23 vampires from the Buffyverse that are better than Darla. Unequivocally. Inarguably. Empirically.

23. Vampire Xander: For being marginally better than human Xander. Who is the worst.

22. These Two Vamps From Once More With Feeling: For that sweet, sweet grapevine action.

21. The Vampire Formerly Known As Cox-Arquette: Because he’s the original (better) Jesse McNally.

20. Vampire Jeremy Renner:

19. Disco Dave: For his love of KC & The Sunshine band.

18. The Turok-Han: Because they’re just the cutest.

17. Lyle Gorch: Because he tussled with Buffy more than once and lived* to tell the tale.

16. Three Sisters: For their impeccable taste in thralls.

15. Vampire Sawyer: For showing admirable nickname restraint.

14. Taquitos Kakistos: Cloven. Feet.

13. Drusilla: For putting the hot in psychotic.

12. Dracula: For turning Xander into the butt monkey we always suspected him to be.

11. Spike’s Mom: For giving us all a mother complex.

10. Zachary Kralik: For having one.

9. Vampire Hauer: Because, against all odds, this is an acting legend’s third best performance.

8. Puppet Angel: Because, I mean, awwwww.

7. Holden Webster: For calling Buffy out on her nonsense.

6. Vampire Paul Rubens: *nnnnnggggggggg* *eggggggghhhhhhh*

5. Harmony Kendall: For keeping the spirit of Sunnydale High alive.

4. Vampire Willow: For her excellent taste in ladies and corsets.

3. Angelus: Because, let’s be honest, he was a damn site more interesting than Angel. Also, guyliner.

2. Spike: For his enduring effulgence.

1. Mr. Trick: Because I like his style and I like his moves.