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15 Life Lessons I've Learned from College Movies

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | December 4, 2013 |

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | December 4, 2013 |

15. What is learning? It’s paying attention. It’s opening you up to the big ball of shit that we call life. And what’s the worst thing that could happen is you get bit in the ass. Well let me tell you my ass looks like hamburger meat, but I can still sit down. — Accepted

14. Ice is what happens when water gets too cold. — Real Genius

13. You can’t sing show tunes and be depressed! — Dead Man on Campus

12. The divine — however we may choose to define such a thing — surely dwells as much in the concrete and taxi cabs as it does in the rivers, lakes, and mountains. Grace is neither time nor place dependent. All we need is the right soundtrack. — Liberal Arts

11. No matter what time of day it is, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV. — PCU

10. When it comes to relationships, everyone’s a used car salesman. Love people, just don’t trust the warranty. — With Honors

9. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. — Animal House

8. From a woman’s perspective, sometimes not singing in an a cappella group is a good thing. — A Social Network

7. Nothing makes a woman feel more like a girl than a man who sings like a boy. — Pitch Perfect

6. We have news for the beautiful people. There’s a lot more of us than there are of you. — Revenge of the Nerds

5. You can’t treat every situation as a life-and-death matter because you’ll die a lot of times. — Van Wilder (Also, that Circus midgets cannot hold their booze)

4. It’s not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off. — Road Trip

3. Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war. — Back to School

2. True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend. — Old School

1. Love is a motherf**ker. — Old School

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.