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15 Funny, Poignant, Devastating, and Existential Lines That May Convince You to Revisit "Dead Like Me"

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | June 15, 2012 |

By Dustin Rowles | Lists | June 15, 2012 |

“Hundreds and thousands of people die every day. Bodies are easy. Dig a ditch, light a match. But what about the souls — who takes care of them?”


“The universe was cocking the fuck-with-me gun.”

“I don’t have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way you’re screwed.”


“You can’t save any of them. All you can ever hope to do is make it easier. And that may not seem like a lot, but it is.”

“There are things inside you that no one wants to face. Things that you keep secret, even from yourself. But secrets are funny. The things you try to hide always turn out to be the things you can’t forget.”


“Our greatest arrogance is to believe that we are all special, because the truth is we are all unbelievably the same.”

“You know what your problem is? You wake up every morning wondering what the world’s gonna do for you, wondering who’s gonna bend over backwards, kiss your ass and make you happy when you should just thank God for another day and leave it the fuck at that.”


“I died in 1938, which interrupted a very promising career on the silver screen. So now I stay here and help other people go. And they do go somewhere, I know that much. I don’t know if there’s a heaven or hell, but I believe there’s more. My whole life, my whole death, shows me there’s more. I just don’t know what it is.”

“Falling’s easy; you just fall. Jumping requires strength of will. … Landing’s a lot like falling; you just land.”


“Deep down, we all want to know if we’re loved; it’s the fundamental question. But when I was a kid, the question was even more basic. Does anyone even like me?”

“Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation begets disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest.”


“As childhood traumas go, nothing beats the realization that everything dies, including you.”

“One desperate attempt after another to find something in common with someone else and then cling. ‘Hey, you have 10 fingers, I have 10 fingers, let’s be friends. We’ll make rules and slogans. Then if we find someone with nine fingers, we can beat the crap out of them.’ “

“Sure I wanted to be a superhero when I was a kid, but only the guy ones got cool costumes. They got massive capes and scary masks and stuff. All Wonder Woman got was hooker boots and a bathing suit. What the fuck was that about?”


“Humans beings are simple, predictable clichés. Broken hearts, betrayal — it’s all been done a billion times before. The problem is, every time still hurts like the first. And if you’re lucky enough to recover, you can be sure that just as you finish filling in all the cracks in your life, the next one is starting to open.”



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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.