By Vivian Kane | Lists | December 22, 2014 |
By Vivian Kane | Lists | December 22, 2014 |
Seinfeld: The Festivus doll
“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had — but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way! … out of that, a new holiday was born. A Festivus for the rest of us!”
Friends: Toilet seat covers
What to get for your friend when you spend Christmas stranded at a rest stop? You can probably do better than Chandler’s toilet seat covers, but who am I to judge?
It’s a Wonderful Life: A big pile of cash that you don’t actually get to keep.
It’s a Wonderful Life: Mr. Potter is the only one who comes out a big pile of cash ahead at the end of.
The Office: A repurposed tea pot.
Oh, did you get the love of your life a sweet, thoughtful gift full of carefully crafted inside jokes? Well too bad, it lives in your nemesis’ nose now.
Love Actually: A Joni Mitchell CD
Sure, you may have had your heart set on a tacky bejeweled necklace, but the question there is: is it just a necklace, or if it’s sex and a necklace, or if, worst of all, it’s a necklace and love?
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: The Jelly of the Month Club
You had your heart set on a nice bonus to put towards a sweet new swimming pool, but Jelly of the Month is the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year.
The Simpsons: A tattoo
Oh yeah, a tattoo may be a sweet gift, but not if you’re a 10 year old trying to express his love for his mom.
Mad Men: Divorce papers
‘Tis NOT the season for surprise divorces, even if those papers come from a rapey sleazebag.
30 Rock: GE photo scanner/paper shredder.
This one is maybe a bit confusing, no?
A Christmas Story: Bunny Suit
Oh, you thought you were gonna get a Red Rider BB gun? You’re crazy. You’ll shoot your eye out, kid. No, bunny PJs are where it’s at.
Gremlins: Gremlins
Sure, mogwais may be cute, but in general it’s best to steer away from gifts that come with a lot of rules and instructions.