We already know that Samuel L. Jackson is a badass motherfucker who’s still tryin’ real hard to be the shepherd, but the man has made some seriously crappy movies. Here are the top eleven:
Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace: While I don’t necessarily mind Sam selling out with a “sure thing” franchise, padding George Lucas’ pocket by participating in such utter crap is almost despicable.
The Caveman’s Valentine: This is a pretty obscure movie for sure, but it’s one that a Sam Jackson fan (possibly myself) would still find impossible to resist. Please do resist.
The Spirit: Such a great comic was (tragically, unspeakably, and surprisingly) ruined by Frank Miller’s take, and it was an utter shame.
Lakeview Terrace: Here’s another entry in the “unnecessary remakes” category.
Soul Men: Sure, Sam did well with what he had to work with, and this has steadily become a cult favorite to certain audiences. Still, it’s a crappy movie.
National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1: Sure, this was supposed to be a crappy experience, but it’s not even an entertaining one at that.
Sphere: Naturally, this movie was full of plot holes and gleefully defied the very laws of physics.
Snakes on a Plane: I’m not sure why — maybe it was the viral marketing? — but lots of people expected more from this high-concept ditty than just a crappy movie. That’s all we got though.
Amos & Andrew: This was supposed to be funny because Sam played the rich, successful black guy who was mistaken for a criminal that was really the white guy. Only thing is … it wasn’t funny at all.
S.W.A.T.: This was just another generically craptastic, high-speed action flick.
Die Hard With a Vengeance: Look, I liked this movie. A lot. Quite frankly, Sam’s character was hilarious, and he and Bruce played well off each other. Still, it was so cheesy that it simply has to be classified as crappy.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.