Kate Beckinsale is quite the physically beautiful woman with plenty of sexual allure to spare. You have seen her seductively crawling (with a convenient front and behind view) through the trailer for Underworld Awakening, right? Yet as pretty as she might be, Beckinsale’s not much of an actress and, as such, has embraced her pseudo chance to be the next Action Jolie. Well, at least she knows her strengths, and she’s made more than enough crappy films to qualify for a list like this:
Click: Admittedly, this is an easy call. How could Beckinsale’s token Adam Sandler film not make the list?
Vacancy: A film about a snuff film about snuff films. What could possibly go wrong? Oh right.
Pearl Harbor: In the immortal words of Michael Bay, “BOOM!”
Serendipity: Somehow and even though Beckensale herself is English, she sounded like an American very badly impersonating an English person in this film.
Tiptoes: Not even worth the novelty of Gary Oldman playing a dwarf.
Underworld: Evolution: The other Underworld films obviously qualify, but this one was the absolute crappiest. Yes, I’ve seen them all so far because I’m a sucker for vampire flicks. Get it?
Van Helsing: I’ve given my opinions on this movie on many prior occasions. I hate it so bloody much.
Whiteout: Somehow, this case of a dead body in Antarctica generated no suspense. It’s also difficult to suspend disbelief when Beckinsale has a shower scene in the midst of what is essentially a vast ice sheet. But hey, shower scene!
The Golden Bowl: This movie was so overacted and poorly scripted that it’s amazing all of the characters had no idea what the others’ motives really were.
Everybody’s FIne: This movie was so goddamn depressing, not to mention yet another crappy Robert De Niro film.
Fragments: Like Crash, only I cared about the characters even less.
And a little unexpected bonus number for you…
Shooting Fish: Some might call this movie underrated, quirky, and/or charming. Obviously, I disagree.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.