If you have kids, or if you’re an adult who watches “The Legend of Korra” and absolutely NOTHING else on Nickelodeon, you’ve probably heard your little brats scream something about an afro circus all the goddamned time lately. They’re referring to a scene in Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, which finally comes out today, to which I say: what the heck, Chris Rock? Also: THANK GOD. That little ditty’s so catchy, yet so annoying, and it’s been stuck in my head for weeks now - and as I made perfectly clear earlier, I only watch Nick for “The Legend of Korra” and absolutely NOTHING else. *Starts blinking quickly*
Anyway, if you’re dragged to the theaters to see it, here’s a small comfort: Walter White himself, Bryan Cranston, is in it, as a Russian tiger. So, yeah, not very Walter White-y. Here are 10 other roles in Cranston’s career that might make you briefly forget Walt is a MONSTER.
#10. Troll Lawyer on “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”
You gotta pay the troll lawyer to get into this boy’s foyer…not much rhymes with “lawyer.”
#9. Jesus on “Chicago Hope”
I couldn’t find a still or clip, so here’s a crude picture of Jesus with a HEISENBERG hat.
#8. Buzz Aldrin in From the Earth to the Moon
#7. Dr. Harding Fletcher on “Matlock”
Doesn’t The Cran-Man just scream HALLMARK?
#6. Hal on “Malcolm in the Middle”
The second best episode of “Malcolm in the Middle.” The best being, of course, “Bowling.”
#5. Dr. Shepherd in The Return of the Six-Million-Dollar-Man & the Bionic Woman
Pictured: Bryan Cranston after being told by a time traveler that in the future, he would be on the greatest TV show of all-time, non-“Simpsons” division, and not have to play doctors in crappy made-for-TV movies anymore.
#4. Santa Claus in The Santa Claus Brothers
#3. Neil Diamond Impersonator on “3rd Rock from the Sun”
#2. Woodrow Snider in National Lampoon’s Holiday Reunion
Contrary to a popular rumor, Bryan Cranston did NOT lose a bet and have to switch identities with the guy from the Spin Doctors for one movie.
#1. Snizard on “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers”
Voice only, but still.