I feel like this really needs very little introduction. There’s just some strange, strange folk out there.
And Reddit have met them…
I got mugged once in Glasgow as a young teenager. This is how the conversation went.
“Im going to need whatever money you have on you kid” “I got £20 note but need it to get the train home” “How much is your ticket?” “Bout £8 or £9” “Oh, thats alright, ive got change”
He took my £20 and gave me £10 back. Not a bad mugging by any means
I have translated from glasweigen regional dialect to Queens english for all u folks not lucky enough to be born in the central belt of scotland.
Edit: for those that asked…. This took place where Argyl Street goes under Glasgow Central Station. I had went through to get a specific CD, cant remember which, and look at guitars, hence why I was down there.
“Haw mate, aye, goanie gi us yer money” “Aw whit, nae danger pal, ave only goat 20 quid and thats fir the train haime, ken?” “You no buy a return?” “Naw, me mam dropt me aff this mornin’” “How muchs yer train haime then?” “Dunno, bout 8 or 9 quid. Bloody dear like” “S’aright pal, ave goat change here” (Whaps oot a 10 spot) “Eh, alright then..(does exchange)…yer patters pish by the wa”
“You have good birthing hips” I’m a guy.
“Don’t be scared”
Said to me by my new across-the-street neighbor. I was working in my garage installing a whole house water filter when he decided now would be a good time to introduce himself. As he’s walking up, it dawned on him that he’s actually sneaking up behind me, so he starts to think of the best way to get my attention while trying to not cause me to freak out. He concludes that “Don’t be scared” was the best option.
I was living with three roommates and our toilet needed fixing one day. The landlords came by and we showed them to the bathroom with the two plumbers they had brought. There were at least six people in this room and one of the plumbers looks at only me and starts speaking in Russian to me. I don’t speak Russian. He then says in English, “Oh, you don’t speak Russian?” I replied “No.” He gave me a look and went about his plumbing business.
Okay, that was odd.
Months later - maybe even a year later or more, I was in a shop at a mall and had been discussing some items with a sales clerk. We’d been talking for some time, and she had an accent that sounded Russian. I have an American accent. Toward the end of our conversation she asks “Have you ever been to Russia?” I reply “No.” Okay, not weird, as she’s from Russia. But then she says, “There’s someone in Russia who looks just like you.”
I’m mildly convinced I’m a sleeper agent or that I have a Russian twin.
EDIT: Damn. Seems like I’m not alone in being mistaken for a Russian! And gold! Neat! Thank you.
I’m reticent to post my picture on Reddit, but if it helps, I am a woman, and this hasn’t happened again since dying my hair.
I sure hope I don’t look like Putin.
I did inquire a little further with the clerk, and it did not appear to be a celebrity she was talking about. Just a girl in Russia who looked just like me.
I may, in fact, look Russian? I am not aware of any Russian heritage, though.
A middle-aged man approached ~12-year-old me and a friend, told us “You’re going to be rich one day” and passed us each a coin. My friend got fifty pence, I got 25 Eastern Caribbean dollar cents.
I was deliverying pizza when i was 18, it was a Tuesday…
A guy in mid 40’s opens the door, ask me :
“What day is today ?”
“So yesterday was Monday, right ?”
“Uhhmmm, yes !”
“I thought it was Sunday yesterday, i am gonna get fired”
And than gives me the money and closes the door
I was at college and this husky guy with an untrimmed neckbeard asked me what time it was. I politely told him what it was, even giving a smile and he stuck his hand out to me. Confused, I shook his hand but he seemed confused, almost startled as he did these weird hand gestures. He whispered “oh shit, you don’t know the handshake.” Before leaving with a worried look on his face.
I’ve posted this before, but a guy came up to me once and asked if I had a light for a smoke. Before I get a chance to respond he says, “No wait, you’re too fat to smoke,” and walked away.
Someone yelled ‘sausage supper’ at me as they drove past. This was maybe 20 years ago, and I still think about maybe once every 6 months. It still baffles me.
I was catching the bus home after work late one night, it was about a half an hour bus ride and I had fallen into a deep sleep.
I woke up suddenly thinking I had missed my stop, when the guy sitting next to me said “don’t worry this isn’t your stop, you get off at the next one”.
I’ve never seen this guy in my life and he knew exactly what bus stop I needed to get off at.
me ” your dog is so cute mam”
old lady ” yeah well that’s what that whore Tracy wants you to think”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were one of the machines.”
Two guys came up to me while i was gassing up my car and asked “Hey do you know what the plastic tip of a shoelace is called?” i did and said, “it’s called an aglet.” One turns to the other and “see bitch, i told you.” They went inside, i finished putting gas in my car and just as I’m about to leave the guy stops me, gives me a snickers bar and leaves.
“There’s a thousand angry crackheads coming this way right now.”
Are you from england because Ive definitely said that to someone before
From England, can confirm I have also said this
I didnt realise this was such a regular occurrence in England haha
I thought everyone knew about the Greater Crackhead Migrations