Set your cringefields to maximum deflection, folks, because some of these are the real deal as Reddit asks the question: ‘What’s The Most Embarrassing Thing You Saw Someone Doing Because They Thought Nobody Was Watching?’
You can check out the full thread here but below are some highlights (and as always if you feel like sharing and adding to the mix, please please do):
I once saw a girl holding an ice cream cone in one hand, and her phone in the other lick the screen of her phone. When we made eye contact and she realized I’d seen it happen, she looked like she was going to die.
When I was a child, maybe 7 or 8 years old, time spent in the bathroom was an opportunity to read books or just have a moment of quiet contemplation. One time during one of my extended toilet sessions, I got the bright idea to use the toilet paper to make a Ninja Turtles-style mask for myself. No sooner had l torn the eye holes and wrapped it around my head, the door opens and my dad walks in. We make awkward eye contact for what felt like minutes, and then without a word being spoken, he slowly backed out and closed the door. I don’t know why it was so embarrassing to me, but I still remember the whole scene quite clearly and that was 20+ years ago.
Working in large corporate parks during the recession there were lot’s of huge office spaces with barely any residency. They basically overbuilt these large office parks expecting businesses to fill them up. So it would be like a huge complex with maybe two or three functioning businesses in them.
The best part about this was the fact that you could always find a restroom to take a shit in that nobody ever used. I went to a restroom on a building across from mine that had zero occupancy, every time I went over there I never ran into anybody.
One day during one of my particularly long shits the timer on the lights turned off due to lack of motion. I thought no biggie so I got up out the stall and attempt to move around so the lights would come on, they weren’t coming on so I ventured further out near the sinks and started moving my hands in a hip hop hooray motion while simultaneously saying Hayyy Hoooooo just for shits and giggles, so the lights turn on and I’m still waving for a few seconds afterwards thinking to myself how silly I must look with my pants and draws to my ankles in a public bathroom waving my hands in the air. That’s when I heard the door close, somebody had have walked into that bathroom and saw some business man with his pants down his ankles waving his hands in the air yelling Hayyyy Hooooo and decided to abruptly walk back out.
I came back upstairs after leaving for work because I forgot my phone. My dogs thought I was gone for the day and didn’t hear me come back up. Walk into living room and my youngest dog is laying on his back and my older dog is standing right in front of young dogs butt sniffing. Not normal dog sniffing butt sniffs, deep, pronounced sniffing as if he was a sommelier trying to determine a wines country of origin. I laughed and both dogs looked at me in utter fear and embarrassment. Eyes were huge. You could see the shame in their eyes and one went to the couch and the other went to the bedroom. Neither looked me in the eye when I got home that afternoon.
I’m a canoe guide, and being the guide I’m usually in the back of the canoe, steering. On this particular day, because it was training and I was with a bunch of my coworkers, I was in the front.
When I’m in the back, I’ll periodically check to see if any plumber’s crack is showing by basically feeling my lower back/top of my ass crack with my finger, then readjust my underwear if needed. I’m in the back of the boat, so no one sees that.
However, on this day I did it in the front, giving the guy in the back of the boat a full showing of me fingering my ass crack. He promptly said “I think that’s a back-of-boat maneuver.”
Used to go to an old style gym years ago with an open shower setup. I hated to use the shower, but I’d workout before work and I’d have to get up even earlier to workout then go back home to shower, then turn back around for work. So, the gym shower made more sense.
One day I was done working out and was heading towards the shower when I hear someone yell “What the fuck are you doing?” I got there in time to see some dude with an erection turning beat red because he got caught jerking off in the public shower.
He apologized over and over as he walked out, but you could tell he was mortified. I don’t know what he thought could happen doing that in a public shower. Maybe he was excited by the thought, then once he got caught felt really stupid.
Anyway, that guy was clearly ashamed of himself and I’ve never seen anyone look more embarrassed. So, I am going to have to go with that.
One day I decide to take a walk to this park near my house. I take my book, a couple of joints, good way to kill a summer’s evening, right? So I go and find my favourite tree and climb up to a comfy position high up in the branches.
Some guy is walking in the park and well clearly, nature called. Without noticing me sat above him in the tree, he pulls down his pants and does a massive stinking turd, pulls up his pants without wiping and walks off as if its all cool. So I’m sat there, having seen everything, and now I have to climb down from a tree with a massive man turd right where I was going to climb down.
Still a traumatic memory to this day.
I saw a guy do a huge fart on his chair, then quick as a flash turn around, bend down, stick his nose to the chair seat, and sniff frantically.
This happened to me, and every time I think of it I cringe so hard it hurts. When I lived at my parents house, my grandma lived with us. One time, I was beating the meat, while watching porn with headphones. Well, there was a big leak of water in the kitchen and my grandma wanted help as soon as posible. She opened my unlocked door while I was at it. She didn’t seem to care and started yelling at me to get my attention since I didn’t notice her because I had my headphones on. She saw me beating my meat for 30 fucking seconds.
ok so back when I was still living with mom she had one of her friends up for the week with her son. there wasnt enough room in the house for them to stay inside so they decided to camp out in the backyard. now I was working construction at the time and was up pretty early to get ready. the one morning while i was putting my lunch together i looked out the kitchen window to see my moms friend squating over a plastic bag taking a shit in it right there in the open. one of the most disgusting things ive ever seen. and then she proceeds to walk inside the with her bag of fresh shit to get rid of it and stops dead in her tracks when she realises that im up….to this day i dont understand why if her plan was to come inside to get rid of it why she didnt just walk inside and use the fully functional toilet and just cut out squating over a plastic bag in the middle of a field.
I used to deliver newspapers. One Sunday I got the papers extremely early, and delivered to a Sunday only customer at around 3 a.m. When it’s this early, I always lift my paper up and smile so customers don’t think I’m there to rob them.
As I apporached this house, I noticed movement inside. Cue the smile and raised newspaper as I witnessed a shirtless, middle aged man with a large potbelly rubbing his belly. Vigorously. I approach, smile and paper in hand. He notices me and runs out of the room. I’m thinking “No dude. Don’t. Do your thing. I’m just a paperboy. Don’t let me dictate how you live your life.”
He canceled the next week.
I was in college and it was a very rainy day. I was late to class and happened to see a guy with a pretty heavy looking backpack, looking like he was going to jump off a diving board. He was rocking his arms, bending his knees enough to look like he was gonna sit down for a shit and everything.
Instead of walking around it, he was trying to jump over a huge ass puddle. I watched him prep himself for a good 20 seconds..which was probably way too long to be staring at someone.
He attempted said jump, slipped backwards due to his huge backpack, and got absolutely soaked. I feel bad saying I laughed quite hard.
During my maturing days as a 14 yr old boy, I had discovered online porn (I mean really, who didn’t) but was unaware of the browser history being able to be checked by anyone else using the family computer. My interest at the time was a website called ‘myfriendshotmom.com’ which I would frequently visit when trying to release teenage angst.
One night at dinner, my parents sat us kids down to talk to us about something very disturbing they found in the browser history and had very serious looks on their faces. Naturally, having grown up in a Christian home with 2 other brothers, I knew my porn obsession was found out. My parents began to talk to us about violence and their worry about the glorification of violence online etc. Naturally I was very confused as this was not the discussion I was expecting.
My mother, obviously the more jolted by what she found online blurted out, “I’m just very worried because someone in this family has been looking at a website called ‘my friend shot mom’ and it’s made me very uncomfortable”.
I didn’t say a fucking word to correct her. Crisis averted.
I once purchased sex toys online including anal beads online. I came home to find the parcel containing these items OPEN sitting on my bed with a note from my mum saying “sorry, thought it was my parcel”. The shame was unbearable and I still cringe when I think about it. I tried to deflect by texting her to ask if she had any wrapping paper I could use for ‘the joke present I bought for my friend’s 21st’. Eurghhhh
Ugh okay, so basically there was a lot of construction going on in our house and one fine morning, I forgot to lock the fucking door before bathing. My back was towards the wall, but there was a glass vase by which I could see the scene behind. One of the workers accidentally got in and froze. During this time I had the option of-
a) pretending I did not see him
b) shrieking for good god.
I went with option ‘a’ because my mom would have pretty much fired the poor guy who accidentally saw her daughter’s butt, but he literally just stood there for 30 frozen horrific seconds before running the fuck away. If you think that was awkward imagine the guy working on our house, and my room for a week after this. He couldn’t look at me, I would constantly have a smile-grimace hybrid on my face when I’d see him, and on the third last day when we crossed each other and he gave me finger guns before scampering away like he’d seen an octopus with the face of James Franco.
was this odd guy in my school who’d spit onto his hands and wipe down his leg hair
Oh god, it was me. I wore a new dress at work with a really full skirt. I was in the bathroom all alone, and grabbed the sides of my skirt to swish it back and forth, and twirled, and swished, and twirled. Imagine a frumpy middle aged woman going full-on Disney Princess.
In walked the Deputy Superintendent. Instant mortification. I avoid her like the plague now.