I was walking down the street once and coming in the opposite direction was a young, white, sharply dressed business man. Confidently striding along with one arm swinging wildly by his side and the other holding a phone to his ear, his eyes ran over everything in front of him but seemed to take in nothing. His expression and the manner with which he carried himself said, ‘Is there an express lane at this cafe for people who are actually busy?’ I had my earphones in so I couldn’t hear what he was unloading on the unfortunate soul on the other end of the phone but by the invisible ripple effect it was having on the people around him I could tell that he was being very loud. This was confirmed as we passed each other and his voice cut briefly through even the Motörhead blasting from my earphones. I was momentarily forced against my will into the interstitial spaces in his conversation. The few seconds of monologue that cut through thanks to noise and proximity made it worth it.
‘I don’t care how she has to deal with it! Nah, yeah, I know, trust me! She’ll be running around like a legless chicken!’
She’ll be running around like a legless chicken.
I’ve said a lot of stupid stuff in my time. Still do. But the image of that businessman’s legless chicken sprinting around, somehow, has stuck in my head for years.
Anyway here’s an AskReddit thread on the most stupid things people have said. And here, some highlights:
Bit mean, that one. Not sure how to feel about it…
Header Image Source: Reddit