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Reddit Asks The Question, 'What Social Custom Can Just F**k Right Off?'

By Petr Knava | reddit | April 17, 2017 |

By Petr Knava | reddit | April 17, 2017 |

Reddit, as ever, asking the important questions.


Going to a restaurant and having a relative or friend tell the waiter/waitress that it’s your birthday. Then having the whole staff singing happy birthday with clapping and fake smiles.


Not talking openly about salary w/in industry. Keeps leveraging power away from workers. On the flip side, pressure to work long hours/weekends/over 40 hours a week because you are lucky to have a job, or you are passionate about your job.


Asking someone to marry you in public. Unless you’ve talked about it beforehand, you’re putting them in a situation where it’s difficult to say no. You’re pressuring them to respond in the way you want them to.

Edit: I’m especially referring to sporting events, concerts, or any place with large crowds focused 100% on you.


[Disapproving of] sleeping late. Fuck you, I took classes and worked all week, if I wanna wake up at 1 on Saturday don’t judge me.


Being at work when I don’t need to be there. I’ll work 60 hours a week if I need to. If I only need to work 20, I’d like to go home when my tasks are complete.


“Don’t speak ill of the dead”

My grandparents psychologically abused my mum for years, I’ll speak ill of them if and when I choose to.


Telling people no. I hate that I am pretty much required to say yes in many situations especially at work or with family. Some saying I heard here a while back was, “You can judge how mature someone is by their reaction to you telling them no.” Ive seen coworkers and family throw complete hissy fits over me saying no at something, its almost worrying.


When you reach a certain age, you HAVE to have children or there’s something wrong with you.


Doing the whole “I’m going to reply to this text later so I don’t look desperate” shit. Fuck that. I get a text and see it, I’m replying.


How about the funeral industry in general. Glorified human taxidermy that costs thousands of dollars. Not to mention the fancy box and over priced service. It’s all so morbid and wasteful.


This will be buried and is a weird one, but as someone who spent their first 30 years in countries that don’t do this, it pisses me off.

The advertised price should be the final price incl taxes and all fees. Always.


Inviting family that you have never seen or heard of to your wedding because they are family… Fuck that I’m not paying 50+ bucks for someone I’ve never fucking met to sit and eat and make awkward small talk!

If they’re not in your life then who gives a fuck? They don’t care about you and nor you about them. Weddings should be for the friends and family who actually give a shit about what’s happening in your life.


As a Minnesotan…The Minnesota Goodbye.


The Minnesota long goodbye just that, a VERY long goodbye. Urban dictionary had a funny definition of it, but basically it’s just that you start to talk about how you need to leave, and it takes you an hour of talking to get out the door, and then your host will talk to you at your car for another hour before you finally leave.

It’s somewhat stereotypical, but there is some truth to it. People especially from Minnesota/Wisconsin/North/South Dakota are particularly bad about not just saying goodbye and leaving, it takes a lot of time.


Person who doesn’t care: “How are you today?”

Person who is probably not good: “Good”


I love when greetings like this get mismatched.

“How’s it going?” “Not Much”

“What’s up?” “Pretty good”


Coming in to work when you’re sick. That shit inevitably spreads through the office thanks to you.


Working ourselves to the bone just to sustain a standard quality of life, with no time to enjoy time with friends or family… no time to read a good book… no time to relax outside and enjoy the spring breeze on your face. I work my ass off at my job, day in and day out, 45 hours a week, and then I’m asked to come in early or stay late most days. I constantly daydream about the beautiful days that I missing out on, the time with my wife that I don’t get to have, and my family that I don’t see.

But yet… I bring this up in a conversation, and I’m just told, “hey, that’s life, man!”

Why the hell should I accept this human construct that was created by people who are no smarter than I am? Why accept that THIS is the way it has always been so I should just “deal with it?”

I’m told that it can get easier once you retire…. Yeah, that’s what I want. I want to have it all dangled in front of my face when I’m too old to fully enjoy it all.

Look, I’m not saying that working is wrong. I mean, you can’t have nice things without putting in the effort, but damn… why should we work our lives away, living on tight ass budgets just trying to survive?


Petr Knava
lives in London and plays music

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Petr is a staff contributor. You can follow him on Twitter.