I took the bus for a bit of this morning’s journey into work. I get up really early, and though the days are getting longer it was still dark outside. The rain was coming down heavily, and I was glad to get on the nearly full bus. I stood near the back. Halfway through my portion of the bus journey the bus stopped and let on some more passengers. The last one to get on was a quite well dressed, crazy-eyed man, about middle aged, brandishing a gigantic banana in his right hand. Like, honestly the biggest banana I have ever seen. I had to wonder whether it was fake, plastic, but if it was it seemed a very convincing fake from my vantage point. He was holding it exactly as you would a handgun. He shifted and moved about as much as he could in the tight space afforded to him in an effort to try and make eye contact with someone so he could, I dunno, I guess challenge them to a banana duel? But it’s London so no one gave him the eye contact he desired. Those nearest to him who were certainly more than aware of the banana averted their eyes, jaded and tired, and stared at their phones instead, subtly making room for him and his bright yellow would-be early morning interjection. The bus journey went on while he desperately sought connection. I was a few layers of people away so I watched him with interest, but in his ocular sweeps he never caught my eye through the throng of people. No one rose to his challenge. His banana waving proved fruitless. About five minutes later we got to his stop, his banana hand dropped sadly, his previously manic eyes now defeated, and he wandered off out into the rain. The doors closed behind him eliminating him from our shared space and the bus carried on.
Poor Banana Man. What a start to his week. I bet he’s sick of it.
[Smooth segue here]
That’s why Reddit asked the question: ‘What can you not believe we still have to deal with in 2019?’ You can check out the full thread here but below are some highlights:
Header Image Source: Reddit