The other day, Reddit asked the question, ‘What Aspects of a Woman’s Life Are Men Most Unaware Of?’ And some women said some things in response.
WELL, ACTUALLY, HERE’S WHAT I THINK OF THA-…
Just kidding, here are some of the highlights from the thread:
Well, I’m renovating our house right now, and doing everything from the studs up myself.
I have lost track of how many times sales people have turned to my husband and started discussing the various merits of different kinds of paint or mudding compounds, sealants, and various power tools. They don’t hesitate for a second, they just turn to him and start talking.
And he’s like “umm, I’m just here to make sure the kids don’t kill themselves with the saw blades while my wife decides what’s best. Like I would ever defile my precious programming hands with a tool.”
It would be cool if people didn’t just assume that I’m a drooling idiot that had wandered into a hardware store by mistake because my husband wasn’t watching properly. This is my 400+ reno project. I’ve been doing this for over a decade. I know more than the random guys in the paint aisle of all Home Depots combined. It would be nice not to have to prove it before they do me the courtesy of talking to me.
Discharge. Not periods, just everyday discharge. Sometimes there’s hardly any, but sometimes there’s that big glob that appears at the most inopportune time.
That periods aren’t just liquid blood like when you cut your finger. There’s tissue and clots too. You’ll just be standing there chatting and suddenly, oh I just felt an alien slug slither out of my vagina, BRB.
When you can feel that you’re going to be starting your period soon but you don’t have anything on you, it can be a bit of a hassle finding somewhere that sells pads and tampons. There may be lots of little shops nearby selling bottled water, chocolate bars, magazines etc. but nowhere that’s big enough to stock hygiene products. It’s a massive inconvenience, actually.
Bathrooms with no little trash can in there. Public, friends’ houses, wherever. I consider it a common courtesy to have one and not just for tampons and stuff like that.
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Also, unsolicited dick pics. Some men are aware of course, but I don’t think people are aware of just how often it happens. And I’m not on any dating sites. I get them on Facebook. From complete strangers.
Daily hair removal.
Starts in puberty, goes on for decades, with new exciting places joining in the game over time.
A lot of the women here are covering the biological stuff pretty well, but I’m going to list a societal one here- how fucking common it was to have older men try to pick you up as a teenager. What I mean is once I hit puberty it was not uncommon if walking in a strip mall or the street to have a much older guy pull up in a car, ask you how you were doing, and if you needed a ride to get to where you’d want to go. (I’d say this happened a few times a year.) Not even necessarily while you’re alone- this definitely happened to me and my girlfriends. And not at 2am or anything sketchy either: I grew up in a safe area, and had protective parents, but this still happened to me just walking out of Barnes and Noble in the afternoon in broad daylight and such. My friends and I all laughed, thinking these old guys just assumed we were way older than we were and couldn’t tell… but then once I left my teens, these encounters stopped. Which is why they disturb me a bit more now than they ever did when I was young.
Virtually every woman I’ve ever talked to had this happen to them as well. And I’m sure it happens to some teenage boys too, but most of my guy friends and relatives I’ve ever mentioned this to were horrified because they had no idea this is just a part of growing up for teenage girls.
Yeah random street harassment/cat calling is awful but it’s the growing list of places you can’t go because a certain employee is a creep that’s most disturbing. I’m trying to buy some toilet paper and coffee can you please not make this weird? Could you hand me my change without brushing my hand and looking at me like an expectant puppy? I’m like 4 Dollar Generals deep at this point.
The constant mental gymnastics that goes on for a lot of us when we talk. We want to make sure we are being confident (attractive! persuasive!) and assertive (if you’re a doormat, it’s your own fault if people step on you!) while not being seen as pushy, shrill, aggressive, or just “bitch be crazy.” If you don’t hit the sweet spot just right, then not getting what you need, or not getting your point across, is just your own fault. Fuck it can be complicated.
Growing up, getting the dreaded “for girls” option of a thing you wanted which is ALWAYS shittier than the regular one.
Telescope? Here have this pink one which is cheaply made and can’t see to the other end of the road.
Remote control toy car? You meant barbie convertible right?
Rollerskates? Bike? Of course, but they will be made of pink and purple plastic with wheels that hardly turn and some princess theme.
My worst one of all time was asking for a bottle of bubbles that had a little puzzle on the lid, and the guy behind the toy counter telling me “Sorry, but we ran out of the girl ones”.
I also got flak for playing the trumpet from a new music teacher because it was a “boys instrument”. I asked him where one would insert the penis to make it play.
Lack of pockets in clothes. My husband is technically aware of this but still seems surprised when it comes up.
How often, in professional meetings, a woman expresses an opinion or states a fact, to have it ignored or negated, then later the identical thing said by a man is offered full validation. It is utterly dehumanizing, which I think is the intent. I am a subspecialty surgeon with 30 years experience
How intimidating men can be and how huge the strength difference is. Always when this is discussed some guys lose their shit. I don’t really get it. We are not playing weak, it is not just some attitude problem I can decide to change, I am simply not as physically as strong as you. Sorry if it offends you but that’s the way it is.
The average untrained woman weighing 150lbs is expected to bench press 41 pounds. The untrained average sized guy (currently 195lbs), should bench around 135 — over TRIPLE.
Triple of 135 is 405, which is 50lbs short of what Richie Incognito (giant ass monster football player) can press.
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As a guy, when I try to understand how women feel around me, I try to imagine a world in which half the people are NFL linebackers, and some of them want to hurt me.
To add to your mental image: some of those linebackers think you’d be prettier if you just smiled a bit more.
Judgement and social politics of skincare and makeup.
Damned if you, damned if you don’t.
When I’m not wearing makeup: “You look tired.”
When I’m wearing makeup: “You shouldn’t wear makeup, men like natural girls.”
The fuck… Luckily I’m married, and he just likes my face however he gets to see it.
“See? You look so much better without makeup!” Bitch, I just spent 2 hours and used 15 different products to create this “No Makeup” makeup.