As I have some pretty odd food habits, I try not to judge other people’s. Having said that, when I see someone eating pizza with cutlery instead of their hands I do feel my metaphorical monocle drop with horror at the sight of such perversion. In a godless universe devoid of objective meaning things like ‘values’ and ‘morals’ are all just things an upstart primate brain has imposed on chaos in a bid to prevent itself imploding from sheer existential horror. But still, there are some lines you just do not cross. But that’s pretty much it. Other than the absolute primal wrongness of using cutlery for pizza, eat however the hell you want, you weirdos. I know I do.

That’s my usual line of thinking, anyway. Reddit made me really question it when it asked the question: ‘Certain foods have a “correct” way of eating them. What are some wrong ways to eat those foods?’ You can check out the full thread here but below are some…highlights?

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