Reddit Asks the Question: 'If You Were a Dictator What is the Pettiest Thing That Would Be Punishable By Death?'
By Petr Knava | reddit | August 11, 2017 |
By Petr Knava | reddit | August 11, 2017 |
Simple one, this. Tapping into all that righteous, terrible fury that we all feel for the little things, Reddit asked the question: ‘If You Were a Dictator What is the Pettiest Thing That Would Be Punishable By Death?’
You can check out the whole thread here, but below are some highlights:
2loo4yu
Not clearing the microwave of unused time.
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sans_sherif
Forcing yourself on to the bus/tram/train before people have properly gotten off.
lightedkeypad
China has 5 people remaining now.
RobCoxxy
Half of London sent to the acid mines
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TheKronk
Leaving a perishable food item in a random aisle of the grocery store.
chaunceyvonfontleroy
My husband recently pulled a Larry David and confronted a woman who did this at Costco. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.He’s staring at her like WTF.
She looks directly at him.
They lock eyes.
“What” she says.
“That’s the laziest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“What did you say?”
“You heard me. If you don’t want it. You put it back”
“What?”
“If you don’t want it, put it back. If you don’t want it you put it back.”
She started flipping out. It was hilarious. He became my hero that day. I hate confrontation and would never do that, but I was so glad someone did. That shit melts!
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plane86
Inviting me to Facebook groups that involve selling your pyramid scheme products.
GetThatGringo
Playing music on public transportation without headphones
Burgundy93
Not dimming your high-beams when approaching another car at night.
PrinceHarming
Taking a phone call while we’re watching TV and asking me to turn it down. It’s a cell phone, there’s no cord. Find a different room.
stormycloudysky
Forwarding those stupid ass texts/emails/posts that say something like “Send this to your 5 best friends in the next 10 seconds or you’ll wake up with no legs!”
PM_ME_YOUR_WRENTITS
Trash out a car window, for sure.Second is probably groups of power walkers or whatever who like to go to beautiful quiet areas and scream office gossip at one another so they can hear over their headphones.
Off with their heads.
thxxx1337
The pettiest thing? When the person in line before you waits till they get to the register to decide what to order. OFF WITH IS HEAD!
TrumpetLife69
If you use more than one parking space for your vehicle.
kidlightnings
Leaving a toilet clogged when the plunger is RIGHT THERE.
Attila_22
Walking slowly and taking up the whole sidewalk with your friends/family.
BoltsNBeamers
People putting their used gum on things. If you’ve been chewing the damn thing for so long what’s a minute more to find a proper place to throw it away? Public execution for putting it on anything in a grocery store you are not buying.
BritishBukkake
Playing music from your phone in public. WHAT MAKES PEOPLE THINK THAT SHIT IS APPROPRIATE?!
dben89x
Hardcore riding someone’s ass in traffic, aggressively passing, then slowing down to slower than the person you passed.
Tombofsoldier
Driving very slowly until the light turns yellow then slamming the gas so you’re the only one that gets through. Immediate public beheading, if a civilian executes you before the police get to you they get free ice cream for a year.
Assclown_wrangler
Chewing food with your mouth open / “smacking” sounds while eating.
Raging-Afro
Sneezing into your hand and then immediately opening a door.
Oregonguy1954
Mowing your lawn before 9 A.M.
buckfaace
Putting eyelashes on your car.
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TamGrave
Littering. Your trash is your problem, do not throw it on the ground and make it everyone’s problem. I have often wondered if you could correlate the psychological profile of habitual litterers with other personality disorders of some sort. Man, it just irritates me.
NerdRising
Sentence: All of their litter will be shot at them out of a cannon until death
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Attaynez
Using a tea covered spoon to get sugar from the pot. I don’t want to have to sift through lumps of crusty brown sugar
jackrc11
Having more than 12 items in your cart for the express lane.“Oh, sorry, I miscounted.”
Bullshit, lady. You just wanted to checkout faster. To the chair with you!
jnthndavis
Using another seat for your fucking bag in the bus when it’s full. Off with their heads
Wafflecakeandbacon
People who talk on their phones during movies.
pinks1ip
This is supposed to be petty reasons, not 100% justifiable reasons to be killed.
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Petr Knava lives in London and plays music
