The subreddit ‘Am I the a**hole’ is filled to the brim with absolutely insane stories of wild misjudgment and critically malfunctioning social awareness. Sometimes that’s on the part of the people asking the question, more often it’s reflective of the people featured in their questions. I read a lot of them, and quite frequently I’m actually left speechless by the way some people think that it’s acceptable to act. ‘My boyfriend won’t let me drive his car unless I eat his toenail clippings. I said I didn’t really fancy that. Am I the a**hole?’ That kinda thing. ‘I told my girlfriend she has to eat my toenail clippings before I let her drive my car. It’s very important to me that she does this because how could I trust her otherwise? Women are strange. Am I the a**hole?’ You get the picture. It has to be said that often the people flaunting social rules and being blatant a**holes without—apparently—realising it are men; and the people occasionally questioning whether it’s fair for them to stand up to these spam-brained wrecking balls are women. Such is the nature of the patriarchy, that the standards and expectations are so ridiculously skewed towards catering for cis men that we might as well be living in a different world entirely while others are sent the message that they have to make allowances for all of our nonsense. Not all of the examples on ‘Am I the a**hole?’ are quite as cartoonish as Toe Nail Gourmet Man (whom I definitely didn’t make up). Some are more low key examples of the entitlement that our lopsided table of a society breeds. Like, check the madness of this bloke in this story out:
And here’s a blockquoted version in case that’s easier to read:
I’ve been taking oral contraceptives for about 6 years now. When I first started, I was worried about what other people would think (I was raised in a pretty “sex-is-taboo” household) and hid that I was taking them very well. Now, however, I’m in my mid twenties and I’m comfortable enough in my skin that I don’t really mind if people know I’m on the pill.
Anyway, I was out on a double date with a couple we know last night and the alarm on my watch started going off (vibration). It was time for me to take my pill. While we’re all chatting, I reach down into my purse that’s beside me in the booth and get my pill, put it in my mouth, and take a drink of water. Whole thing probably took 30 seconds.
My friend didn’t comment, but her boyfriend made a face and said “did you just take something?”
I said “yeah, my birth control.”
He made another face and said, “that’s inappropriate don’t you think?”
I just kind of exchanged a look with my boyfriend who seemed as lost as I was. I mumbled an “uh, ok” cause I hate confrontation.
He went on, “you should probably go to the bathroom to do that. It’s really not polite to take that kind of pill in front of a group of people. We get it, you have sex.”
I really had no idea what to say, so my boyfriend changed the subject to the game that was on over our heads at the bar and the night carried on.
I was pretty much floored. Wtf? I had been doing this for a while now, any time I’m out and my alarm goes off, I’ll just take my pill and go about my day. Wouldn’t it be like taking any other medication? Or Advil? I don’t really see the problem. AITA?
Thankfully, the responses were at least peppered with sanity.
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